PETA Hates Pokemon!

PETA depiction by sharkmon97X

When I heard about an online PETA Pokemon parody game, I laughed and thought it would be fun to check out.  After all, PETA is the brunt of so many jokes out there, so it had to be interesting.  To my surprise, I found out that this game was not a parody about PETA, but an anti-violence message actually created by PETA.  I never expected PETA to protest against a children's game, but that's just what they did.  This is the intro of the game in its exact words:

"As battling Pokemon grew in popularity, generations of children were growing up believing that Pokemon exist for no other reasons than to be used and abused by humans.  Children learned about dominance instead of compassion.  While Pokemon faced the worst abuses, children also started bullying each other.  Until one Pokemon decided he'd had enough."

And as I started playing the game, my amusement turned to alarm.  The Pikachu I played as was covered in blood and choked with a metal collar and chain.

Team Plasma is the PETA Pokemon liberation group, apparently.

The trainer I was rebelling against was also covered in blood and held a bloody baseball bat, and what appeared to be a beer bottle.

In the beginning of the game, I had to battle my Pokemon trainer for freedom.  Some of my moves included "group hug" and "protest."  In response, the trainer hit me with the baseball bat!  So then I used some more traditional moves, like "thundershock" and "quick attack" (because apparently it's okay for the Pokemon to beat up their trainers, just not the other way around).  Once I defeated the trainer, their equally abused Pokemon joined me, and we continued to battle just as disturbing trainers.  One of the conversations went like this:

Trainer: "The only thing that matters to me is that I make a lot of money in the Pokemon industry."
Pikachu: "If you really cared about children, you'd want to teach them respect and compassion!"
Trainer: "It's not their hearts that concern me - it's their parents' wallets.  Gotta catch 'em all.  Ha!  What suckers!"

By the time I was finished with the game, I had a Snivy that had been experimented on by a scientist, and a Oshawott that was partially skinned (shown below).

By the time I was finished playing the game, I was horrified.  Not in myself, but in the disturbing depiction of my favorite video game I just witnessed.  First of all, there has never been a speck of blood in the Pokemon games, and the amount of blood PETA used in their spoof game made me sick.  And the violence!  It's true, Pokemon battle each other in the real game, but their trainers never hurt them, physically or verbally.  In fact, the Pokemon games and TV shows are all about the trainers loving and respecting their Pokemon.  The bad guys are the ones rightfully shown abusing their Pokemon, but even so, never in the way that PETA depicted!

To top it all off, PETA included this little note below their spoof game:

"The amount of time that Pokémon spend stuffed in pokéballs is akin to how elephants are chained up in train carts, waiting to be let out to 'perform' in circuses. But the difference between real life and this fictional world full of organized animal fighting is that Pokémon games paint rosy pictures of things that are actually horrible."

As strange as it sounds, I am very attached to my little virtual creatures.  In the game, we are a team, and I do whatever I can to help my Pokemon succeed.  I think PETA's spoof game was not only disturbing, but insulting to all Pokemon fans out there.  Below is a link if you are interested in playing the game for yourself.  What do you think?  Do PETA's accusations have merit?  Share your thoughts in the comments.  As for myself, I'm going to continue playing Pokemon and not be ashamed.

Image by mnrART

Link:
PETA's Pokemon Black and Blue: gotta free 'em all!

Check It Out! - Zen Habits

When I first developed my full-blown anxiety disorder, I was in a lot of turmoil.  Things that had once seemed simple were suddenly complicated.  The life I knew was turned upside down, and I was lost in my own despair.  Many things helped me through the Dark Ages (i.e. my religion, my husband, my mom, etc.), but today, I want to focus on a blog that really taught me the minimalist philosophy that helps me combat my anxiety everyday.

Zen Habits is a blog that introduced me to the idea that the best way to overcome my anxiety was to...breathe, be still, and let go.  I was a dire hard perfectionist until anxiety burst my bubble and left me feeling like a total loser.  I thought that the way to overcome my anxiety was to get my act back together and go back to accomplishing things like a champ.  But the reality was this: even when I thought I was accomplishing things, I was really accomplishing nothing.  One of the greatest things that my anxiety disorder has taught me is that my previous life was filled with pride that had no substance.  Losing my perfectionism was insanely painful, but today, I can say that I am grateful for the things I've learned through my anxiety.

Oh dear, where was I?  That's right.  Zen Habits introduced me to some minimalist philosophies that, at first, drove me crazy.  For example, when I was a perfectionist, I always created goals for myself, and felt like a failure when I did not meet them.  One of Zen Habit's philosophies is to live without goals.  What?!  How was I supposed to be worthwhile if I didn't set and accomplish goals?  That was the thing: I was already worthwhile.  Anxiety made me believe that I had to do all of these things to be worth anything, but as a Child of God, I was already worth everything.  It took time, but Zen Habits helped me realize this.

See my blog post "What Makes Me Significant?"

Another philosophy that Zen Habits taught me was to stop putting expectations on everything.  When Ben and I were engaged, I expected him to do and think and act in all the ways I wanted him to.  In my anxious state, I put a lot of pressure on him, and it almost tore us apart.  Zen Habits taught me that instead of expecting things from people and getting disappointed when things don't go my way, I can be grateful for the wonderful relationship I have with that person, whatever it may be.  This was an eye-opened experience for me, because I thought I could shape and mold my future husband like wet clay into the vessel I wanted.  Little did I know that my husband was already perfect the way he was; all I had to do was realize it.  It's kind of like when a kid realizes that Christmas isn't about getting presents, but giving them.  I remember the night that this concept really sunk into my soul.  I wrote a little poem that summed up my feelings pretty well:

I thought marriage was about spoiling me,

But marriage is about changing me.

I thought marriage was about serving me,

But marriage is about purifying me.

I thought marriage was about kissing me,

But marriage is about teaching me.

I thought marriage was about being the perfect wife,

But marriage is about preparing for Celestial Life.

And I learned to do the same for me.  I stopped pressuring myself and just appreciated myself for who I was.  I was perfect the way I was; I just had to realize it. 

Zen Habits has plenty of posts on how to set goals and change yourself into a better person, but what really touched my heart was the lessons of simplicity that helped me let go of the last traces of my perfectionism.  It's only when I was able to do this that I truly began to get better.  Please check out the Zen Habits blog.  It's a wonderful and uplifting place, and most of the blogs reflect the new and simple way I live my life (and trust me, I don't miss my old life one bit!)  Below are some direct links to some of my favorite posts, or just click here to go right to the website.  Thanks for reading, and remember...breathe.

How to Be Happy Anytime
Toss Your Expectations Into the Ocean
The Illusion of Control
Be Still

Slenderman = Modern-Day Bigfoot

Image by x-Tsuka-x

I hate horror movies with a passion.  I hate the suspense, I hate the gore, I hate the sad/bad endings, and I hate not being able to sleep at night after watching one.  So I'm more than a little surprised to find myself saying that my latest obsession right now is with a horror character.  He's not from a movie, though.  He's sort of an Internet myth, like a modern-day Bigfoot.  And his name is Slenderman.

Slenderman originated from an online paranormal Photoshop contest that took place on Something Awful forums in June 2009.  The point of the contest was to turn normal pictures into creepy pictures, complete with a background story.  Victor Surge, one of the forum users, posted two photos featuring a tall, thin figure dressed in a black suit (one of the photos is below).

Image by Victor Surge

The photos went viral, and soon enough, people began to pick out similar Slendermen in various photos, historical accounts, and even video games.  Slenderman was featured in fan art, short stories, Youtube videos, and conversations across the Internet.  Some people actually believe that Slenderman exists, like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster.  I learned about him from a computer game that someone created called "Slender" featuring you-know-who (for a full history of Slenderman, click here).

I think Slenderman exists as much as I think Bigfoot exists (i.e. not at all), but I was intrigued by the game "Slender."  I downloaded the game (it's free) and watched my husband play it.  It was so scary!  But contrary to how I usually feel about horror, I loved it!  I refused to play it for the longest time, but I enjoyed watching other people play.  Why?  Because I love watching people get the poo scared out of them!  There's just something funny about people (especially grown men) screaming like little girls and cowering in their chairs.  It's the same reason why I like watching scare pranks on "Just for Laughs" or the scare section of "America's Funniest Home Videos."  It's just funny (does that make me an evil person? haha).  To see what I mean, click on any of the links in the previous sentence, or check out the (clean) "Slender" reaction montage at the end of this blog, although I would recommend watching the video of me playing "Slender" first to get an idea of what the game is like.

It took me weeks for me to gather up the courage, but here's a video of me playing "Slender"!  After laughing at so many people getting scared by Slenderman, it's my turn.  *gulp*  My husband pointed out that I talked too much during this video, but I guess it was my way of dealing with the suspense.  Enjoy my fear!

Man, I was shaking for fifteen minutes after playing that round!  And I promise you, it will never happen again!  I did this all for you!  xD

Finally, here is a "Slender" reaction montage that I edited but did not compile.  I love watching people react to "Slender," but they all cuss like sailors, so I've censored this one.  Below this video are more links and information about the "Slender" games.  Enjoy!

Original video by elliottad

To download the original in-the-forest "Slender" game, click here.

To download the "Sanatorium" Slenderman game that I played, click here.

To download the awesome recording device I used to capture my "Slender" gameplay, click here.

The best thing about all three links is that they are all free and they are all safe. 

Have fun, and remember, Slendy is always watching!  ;)

Image by nick-tyrrell

Don't Fear the Putt-Putt

Image from Speedcathollydale's blog

I love going to the beach!  It's a wonderful way to get away from the normal hustle and bustle of life and get caught up in the relaxing rhythm of the ocean waves.  It has become sort of a tradition to go putt-putt while at the beach, and there are no shortages of interesting locations to go to.  I'm not great at putt-putt, so it's really just a way to get outside and have fun with my family without pressure.  However, since I'm kind of an anxious person, I end up feeling pressure anyway.  Not from my family, though.  In the end, the pressure I experience is from myself, and after some contemplation, I came up with an interesting analogy.

So there I am, preparing to do a three-foot putt into the hole.  I might look cool and calm to everyone else, but inside, I am thinking:

"Oh no, what if I can't make this shot?  I can never do anything right.  There's no way I can make this shot!  I shouldn't even try."

Thankfully, my sane Unconditional Self steps in and says:

"Yes, you can do this.  If you believe you can do it, you will.  Don't listen to your anxieties.  Just concentrate and sink that ball into the hole." 

So I focus, and lo and behold, the ball rolls right into the hole.  I celebrate with a whoop, and then the anxieties begin again:

 "Oh no, now I've done it!  Everyone will expect me to be able to play putt-putt really well, and if I don't, then I'll be a complete and utter failure!  I have to stop being good at putt-putt to protect myself!"

Of course, this is complete baloney, so my Unconditional Self steps in:

 "What is wrong with you?!  Didn't you listen to a word I've been saying?  If you believe you can do it, you will!  You will make mistakes, 'cause that's part of life, but that doesn't mean you're a failure.  You have a talent, so don't be afraid to pursue it!  Show the world what you can do!"

This is a very dramatic example of what I struggle with every day of my life.  Anxiety makes me afraid to do things, especially the things I do well, in fear of failing.  This is why I haven't been working on my novel, or pursuing my love of art.  It's silly, but it's real.  What I work on everyday is helping my Unconditional Self rise above the fog of my anxious self (see my anxiety page to learn more about the Unconditional Self).  It's like having an evil twin that's always anxious and always trying to keep me stuck in my fear.  Kevin Bolk, creator of "I'm My Own Mascot" comics, understands this very well (click to read):

My husband once told me that having these anxious and fearful thoughts is completely normal.  It's when these thoughts keep me too fearful from pursuing my dreams that it becomes a problem.  Having anxiety isn't easy, but I'm learning to ignore the evil twin in my head and follow my passions.  I'm happy to say that I've been working on my novel again after months of inactivity.  Hooray!  :D  Every little victory helps.  So whenever I feel trapped in my own fear, I think of my experience with putt-putt and I rise above my anxieties.  Most of the time, anyway.  ;)

My Adventures with Aromatherapy

Image from crowwing.com

Since I suffer from anxiety, I've looked into several natural remedies for the body.  Aromatherapy is the therapeutic use of plant-derived, aromatic essential oils to promote physical and psychological well-being.  It is sometimes used in combination with massage and other therapeutic techniques as part of a holistic treatment approach (definition from TheFreeDictionary).  I like natural smells, like the kind from flowers, so I decided to give aromatherapy a try.  My mom bought me a collection of essential oils from Eden's Garden for Christmas.  She bought the synergy set, which came with cute, little bottles of:

Meditation = ylang ylang, patchouli, frankincense, clary sage, orange sweet, and thyme essential oils.
Stress Relief = bergamot, patchouli, blood orange, ylang, ylang, and grapefruit essential oils.
Aphrodisiac = ylang ylang, patchouli, orange sweet, lavender, sandalwood, and jasmine essential oils.
Relaxation =  lavender, marjoram, patchouli, mandarin, geranium, and chamomile essential oils.
Renew = frankincense, tea tree, rosemary, lemon, eucalyptus, and orange sweet essential oils.
Breathe Easy = peppermint, rosemary, lemon, and eucalyptus essential oils.

(Click on the different essential oils to learn more about them!)

Image from Eden's Garden

In the short time I've experimented with essential oils, I have learned 2 warnings and 2 positive experiences.

Warning #1: Essential oils are potent!

Essential oils are natural, but they are NOT subtle.  In fact, they are more like flowers on steroids!  When I first got my essential oils, I made the mistake of putting 5 drops of lavender in the water of my oil burner.  The smell was sweet, but it was so strong, it made me sick to my stomach.  The aroma penetrated my skin, my bones, my very soul!  Aromatherapy is the real deal!  I quickly learned to only put 2 drops of essential oil in my oil burner.  A little goes a long way.

Warning #2: Essential oils can give you giant zits!

I was feeling very earthy one day, and decided to dab a drop of lavender essential oil on the skin right above my collar bone.  That way, the healing aroma would rise into my nostrils as I went throughout my day.  It worked quite well, until I came home from work and looked in my mirror...

In the exact spot I dabbed the oil, I had grown the biggest, whitest zit I had ever seen!  I NEVER get zits on my chest, yet there it was, throbbing at me menacingly!  From now on, I try not to put the essential oil on my skin.

Positive Experience #1: Smelling essential oils makes me feel happy and zenny!
 
In a world where 'artificial' is the norm in just about every aspect of our lives, using something that is natural just makes me feel good.  In my opinion, half of the effectiveness of aromatherapy comes from the positive thoughts and feelings it invokes in me.  The essential oils (when diluted properly) smell wonderful, like the inside of a dream.  The aroma makes me feel like I'm smelling something far greater and purer than anything mankind can ever make by themselves.  The aroma is cleansing and penetrates deep.  I just like using them.  I haven't invested in a diffuser or anything cool like that, but I don't have to have one to enjoy aromatherapy right now.  For some really cool tips on how to use essential oils in your day-to-day life, just check out this articles by Eden's Garden: 40 Ways to Use.

Positive Experience #2: Essential oils have successfully chased my anxiety away.

 I am more of a believer in cognitive therapy verses more physical treatments when it comes to my anxiety.  I am especially leery of the seemingly 'mystical' treatments.  I mean, just because you made your pills out of organic seeds from some plant I haven't even heard of doesn't mean that it will cure my anxiety!  I do believe that these natural supplements have the ability to help control anxiety's power over the mind, but not every pill will work for every person who tries it.  And there are so many out there to try!  Perhaps I am a believer in cognitive therapy because the idea of researching and experimenting with so many supplements is just way too overwhelming.
I can testify, however, that aromatherapy definitely has some power over my anxiety.  One day, I was feeling anxious and jittery for no apparent reason.  That's the worse kind of anxiety: the kind that has no reason or purpose other than to torture me.  I decided to breathe in some lavender essential oil, which is the best oil for dealing with anxiety.  Within a couple breaths, my anxious feelings were gone!  I was shocked by how well it worked, cause as I said before, I'm not exactly a believer.  But I could not deny that the essential oil had calmed my body and mind.  I was thrilled!  To this day, I am a believer in the power and effectiveness aromatherapy.
Now, this does not mean that aromatherapy alone can control my anxiety, or that breathing lavender fumes will chase away any anxious feelings I have anytime, every time.  But I am happy that I have essential oils to use in my daily life.  They are just another part of my anxiety-conquering plan.  So if you have been considering experimenting with essential oils in your life, I wholeheartedly encourage you to do so.  Just remember, essential oils are stronger than you might think, so have a gas mask handy, just in case.  ;)

The Forest In My Heart

 

Image by lucias-tears

I've been struggling with some anxious thought patterns these days and thought I'd share an interesting analogy that has emerged from it.  Every person has a forest in their heart.  I have one, too.  This forest is teeming with life, each creature and plant representing a part of myself.  Each tree is a skill that I'm developing.  Some are tall and sure, while others are still growing.  The birds are my dreams, the stream is my desire to explore the world, etc.  And flowers!  Flowers are everywhere.  My forest is a beautiful and personal place.  Or, at least it was.

When I developed an anxiety disorder, it felt like I was losing myself to its dark, twisted depths.  My passion and talents diminished, my confidence shattered, and my dreams were lost.  It felt like the forest in my heart was burning to the ground.

Image from www.erh.noaa.gov

Everything I had worked towards in the past twenty-two years of my life was gone.  There was nothing in my heart but smoldering pain and choking ashes.  I didn't know who I was anymore.  I was almost destroyed by it.

Maybe you have gone through a similar experience as this.  It's frightening to lose everything.  But the thing is, you haven't lost everything.  I thought I had, but in time, I caught little glimpses of myself shining through the anxiety.  It was like little sprouts pushing their way through the dirt and ash.  I was still in a lot of pain, and I had to redefine everything again, but I was willing to try.  I was willing to regrow the forest in my heart.  It wasn't easy.  It took a lot of work, a lot of pain, and a lot of time.  Today, my forest does not have the same majesty of my first forest.  But after everything I've learned about myself and anxiety, my forest fire was not a tragedy.  Just like in real life, a forest fire plays an important role.  The fire clears out dead brush and noxious weeds, giving new plants a chance to take their place.  The forest fire in my heart was purged of pride and false perceptions, allowing new and life-changing virtues to grow and flourish.  I can now say that I am a better woman because of anxiety.

The forest in my heart still has a long way to go.  The fire was necessary, but it certainly didn't feel good in the moment, and neither does the feeling of inadequacy that follows.  But despite the anxiety that plagues me day to day, I am still me, and I always will be.  My forest may still be lacking in many ways, but in time, flowers will grow again in the forest of my heart.

Check It Out! - The Spoon Theory

My mom shared an awesome analogy she found on a website called "But You Don't Look Sick."  It's a website intended to support Lupus, and the Spoon Theory is an analogy for Lupus, but I could immediately apply it to my anxiety disorder.  Please visit www.butyoudon'tlooksick.com to read the full article and check out the rest of the website!

 

It can be difficult for "normal" people to understand the daily struggles a person with a mental disability faces everyday.  Even I, back in my self-righteous and pre-anxious days, couldn't understand why people would let their mental disabilities get them down.  Eventually, I developed an anxiety disorder as well (wow, talk about karma).  NOW I understood what it was like.  All of my self-righteous judgments melted away.  But it pained me to know that there were still people out there who, like my old self, judged those with mental disabilities.  There are some people who even have the nerve to think that mental disabilities aren't real.  How can I explain what it's like to truly live with anxiety?  The answer came with the Spoon Theory!  Please, I earnestly invite you to read the full article here, but I'd also like to give the short version of the Spoon Theory with you.

Image from www.butyoudontlooksick.com 

Christine (the woman who came up with the theory) was at a restaurant with her friend.  Even though they had been friends for a long time, her friend asked what it was like to live with Lupus.  Christine grabbed all of the available spoons from their table and other nearby tables, put them in her friends hands, and said, “Here you go, you have Lupus."  The spoons represented the energy and effort one could expend in a day.  Most people have infinite amount of spoons, but her friend only had twelve.  Christine then instructed her friend to go through a typical workday.  As her friend said, "Get out of bed," Christine took one of the spoons.  Her friend said, "Take a shower," and Christine took away a spoon.  Before she had even gotten to work, half of her spoons were gone.  How was she going to make it through the work day?  And once she was back home, how could she then have the energy to do chores, laundry, and cook dinner?  Through this analogy, Christine really demonstrated how carefully one must use their energy accordingly when they suffer from Lupus.

Now, I will apply my anxiety disorder to the Spoon Theory.  When I wake up, I know I have to spend a certain amount of my limited spoons on my job.  When I come home, I might be able to do some chores, but if I had an especially hard time at work, I just don't have the "spoons" to do so.  If I have an anxiety attack during the day, I may no longer have enough "spoons" to work on my book or go out with friends, because dealing with anxiety attacks requires a lot of "spoons."  I must try my best to plan ahead of time how I will use my spoons so I can get the most out of my day.  Therefore, if someone asks me to do a big, unexpected favor for them, I might have a mental breakdown because I don't have enough "spoons" to handle the extra work.  The Spoon Theory is a great way for people to understand what living with a mental disability is like.  Even now, my mom and I talk about how many "spoons" we have or need or used up, and smile knowingly at each other.

Once again, I urge you to read the original Spoon Theory, because I just don't do it justice.  You will be glad you did.  :)  Do you or someone you know suffer from Lupus, a mental disability, or something else that makes their life difficult?  Share this with them!  It will make them smile and nod in total understanding.  

Image from The "But You Don't Look Sick" Gift Shop