Outer Eye, Inner Eye

I take two of my brothers to a great homeschool group called FAITH academy (you can check out their website here).  I love the kids and the classes are so in-depth.  One of the classes I sit in on is a traditional art class where the kids are taught how to sketch still-lifes.  I've taught myself a little bit of art throughout the years, but I've never received formal training, so I was intrigued by the concepts being taught.  The teacher explained that sketching everywhere you go (i.e. the library, the bus stop, etc.) helps us develop an eye for the world.  We may look at something, but do we really see it?  For example, if we're coloring a picture of a tree, we usually color the bark brown.  But if you really look at bark, it's almost never brown.  Depending on the tree, it may be a combination of gray, green, black, or white.

Image from Wikipedia

Another example of looking without seeing is whenever we think of an object (like an apple, for instance), we usually have a preconceived notion of what shape that object is.  I usually think of an apple as a round shape with two bumps on top where the stem protrudes.  But apples come in many shapes and sizes.  In order to accurately depict one, we must learn to truly sketch what we see.  The art teacher described it beautifully: he sketches to "keep [his] eyes awake."

This concept struck me because I often feel like my eyes are not awake to the world around me.  I'm a very, very aloof person.  My husband is very interested in self-defense exercises and likes to practice analyzing people around him, knowing the small signs that indicate danger.  I, on the other hand, would probably walk right past an axe murderer if he was just standing there in the grocery store.  I'm usually lost in my own thoughts, thinking of stories and stuff like that.  Even my recreational activities are very introverted.  Reading, playing video games, and writing all make me less aware of the world around me.  So this means my eyes are the complete opposite of awake.  But, then again, which eyes?

A traditional artist must exercise their outer eyes in order to successfully transfer images onto paper.  They must be able to examine and expertly portray shading, angles, and other details.  Many artists, however, like to draw things that do not exist.  They don't use their outer eyes to sketch something that they can see in front of them.  Instead, they must use their inner eyes to examine and expertly portray something that is in their heads.  For a creative person, they can develop these inner eyes to see a make-believe object or creature that is just as real to them as the objects and creatures in the real world.  For example, when I write, I have to become separated from the real world.  Everything has to fade out until I can only see and hear the world within my imagination.  This takes more effort than you might think.  The real world is always louder and more vivid than my imagination, making it difficult to do introverted activities if I don't have the proper separation (I could never write in front the TV, nope).  Even once I have separated myself from reality, it's still a lot of hard work to take the images from my mind and translate them into writing.  I'm sure the process is similarly difficult for artists who primarily draw fantasy creatures and people.  But it's all worth it.  If it wasn't for people who have exercised their inner eyes, we wouldn't have the wondrous books, movies, and images that inspire and entertain us.  Sometimes I feel a little guilty that I'm such a spacey person, but then again, I'm grateful for the gift of writing and the joy it brings to my life.  So the next time you see someone staring out a window, lost in a daydream, they may actually be working on something beautiful.  

Image by Elle124, quote from X2

Check It Out! - Faith the Walking Dog

Image from Daily News Dig

While carousing iwastesomuchtime.com this morning, I came across an amazing article about an amazing dog.  Faith was found in a junkyard where her own mom was attempting to smother her.  This may seem cruel, but Faith was born without front legs, so her mom was actually trying to humanely spare her a life of misery the only way she knew how.  Thankfully, Faith was rescued by the son of Jude Stringfellow, Faith's adopted mom.  Jude and her family spent countless hours and spoons of peanut butter to teach Faith how to hop, and eventually walk upright on her hind legs.  Faith is a living example of strength, determination, and hope.  If she can overcome her difficulties, so can we!  Her family also is a wonderful example of love and patience.  They never gave up on Faith, and now, she is a inspiration for many people.  Below is a video of this incredible dog and her family.  I hope it brings a smile to your face and a warmth to your heart like it did to me.

Unconditional - In Pokemon and Life

Several months ago, I wrote a post about PETA's anti-Pokemon campaign.  On the one hand, I thought it was utter nonsense.  On the other hand, it got me thinking.  One of the things that has always frustrated me about Pokemon is that if you want to be a "professional trainer," there are only a handful of Pokemon that are strong enough to use on a professional level.  There are over 500 Pokemon now, and roughly, only 30 Pokemon are "good enough" to be on professional teams.  Therefore, when I look at top-level Pokemon tournaments, I see the same Pokemon used again and again.  How sad is that?  Blinded by their ambition to win, people miss out on raising all of the other Pokemon and experiencing their unique strengths and weaknesses.  Then it hit me: I'm one of those people.  I was so caught up in raising the strongest Pokemon that I was ignoring all of the other "weaker" Pokemon.  What's more, I stressed over the entire process, worrying that I would mess up or invest in the wrong Pokemon.  I was doing exactly what I was accusing other people of doing.  So I erased my Pokemon game and started over with a change of heart.  This time, I took the time to raise each and every Pokemon with love and care.  It didn't matter if they were weak, or had unfavorable stats, or had "Run Away" as their ability.  I raised each Pokemon unconditionally.  I have raised 190 Pokemon so far, and I'm loving it!  Each Pokemon is so special with their own personality and talents.  I'm so happy I was able to break away from my former mindset.  Otherwise, I would never been able to experience so much, well, happiness.  Whoever thought that a simple little change could make a video game so much fun?

Image by Hhell

The concept of living unconditionally is something I have been working on ever since I developed anxiety.  I was plagued by so many perceptions and expectations that I missed out on all of the beauty and wonder in the world around me.  I was also haunted by guilt from the past and fear of the future.  It was only when I learned to live in the present that I recognized that every moment is a priceless gift that can be mine to enjoy.  Living unconditionally is a work in progress, and I certainly can't be unconditional all the time (as it is, perfectionism has no place in unconditional living, anyway).  I could go on and on about how living unconditionally has changed my life, but that would take a long time.  I'll touch on some of the finer points in other posts.  I just wanted to share how living unconditionally has helped me be a happier person, even in the video games I play.  This is a philosophy that I will continue to develop and nurture as I go through life.  'Cause, let's face it, life is about finding happiness.  A lot of people go about it the wrong way, though.  They chase after money, or fame, or achievement trying to get it, but the secret to happiness is in your grasp, right here, right now.  It's that simple.  All you have to do is embrace it, unconditionally.

How to Stay Awake While Driving - Abbey Style

A few weeks ago, I got to experience a very classic human phenomenon: driving for a really long distance in the middle of the night.  I won't get into the details of why, but let me tell you, it was...interesting.  As soon as I got onto the highway, I knew I needed to come up with strategies to keep myself from nodding off.  My wonderful husband bought me a Pepsi and wildberry Skittles, but I needed rules if I was going to survive the night.  Here's what I came up with:

1. I kept the air cold, because warm air makes me sleepy.  
2. I didn't use cruise control.  The constant need to check my speed kept me focused.  Relying on cruise control would have given my body a false sense of security, leading to sleep.
3. If I got groggy, I pinched myself soundly in the inner thigh as many times as needed until I was alert again.

These rules served as a good foundation, but I soon discovered that driving at night was not just about staying awake.  Music is my faithful companion on long drives, but in this insistence, my husband had to be at school in just a few hours after getting home and needed to catch as much sleep as possible.  I had to drive without the cheery companionship of music.  I was bored, and frankly, started going a little insane.  I have never seen the minutes pass by so slowly on a clock before!  I knew I had to do something if I was going to make it.  I started getting all philosophical on myself, saying:

"Abbey, my dear girl, time is relative.  One moment you are far from home, but in what seems the blinking of an eye, you will be snug in bed, and you will remember the past no more."

 This seemed to help (I think), but it still wasn't enough.  It was time to get creative.  On long car trips, my family likes to play the alphabet game, in which we choose a topic and everyone has to come up with a answer for each letter.  Why couldn't I play the alphabet game by myself?  It would challenge me and keep me focused.  I decided on Pokemon, because no one would ever play against me on that topic (I wonder why?)  So I began...

A = Ampharos, Absol, Arbok.
B = Beedrill, Bulbasaur, Blastoise.

When I finished the Pokemon alphabet, I decided to do Disney songs.  Every time I came up with an answer (A = "Arabian Nights" from Aladdin), I sang it under my breath.  I went through the entire alphabet this way, ending with Z = "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah."  Even after that, I was still an hour away from home.  So I then proceed to sing all of the songs from "Phantom of the Opera" (although at that point, I was no longer singing quietly).  I also sang songs by Clay Aiken, Taylor Swift, and David Archuleta.  Eventually I returned to Disney songs.  I was just finishing up "I 2 I" from A Goofy Movie when we pulled into our drive way.  I did it!  I survived my first all-night drive!

Nailed it!

Lucid Dreaming - Real Live "Inception"

I love the movie "Inception."  I think it's one of the best movies in the history of movies.  If you haven't seen it, go see it right now.  It's intense, complex, and deep.  Here's a synopsis:

"Dom Cobb is a skilled thief, the absolute best in the dangerous art of extraction, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable. Cobb's rare ability has made him a coveted player in this treacherous new world of corporate espionage, but it has also made him an international fugitive and cost him everything he has ever loved. Now Cobb is being offered a chance at redemption. One last job could give him his life back but only if he can accomplish the impossible-inception. Instead of the perfect heist, Cobb and his team of specialists have to pull off the reverse: their task is not to steal an idea but to plant one. If they succeed, it could be the perfect crime. But no amount of careful planning or expertise can prepare the team for the dangerous enemy that seems to predict their every move. An enemy that only Cobb could have seen coming."

(Taken from IMDb)

The best part about watching "Inception," however, is seeing the similarities between it and lucid dreaming.  The definition of a lucid dream is "any dream in which one is aware that one is dreaming" (Wikipedia).  In gaining self-awareness, the dreamer has the potential to change, control, or construct their dreams.  Sound like hogwash?  I can attest that lucid dreaming is possible, because I have done it.

My experiences with lucid dreaming is limited but very exciting.  It started when I picked up a book called "Lucid Dreams in 30 Days: The Creative Sleep Program."  It's part philosophical and part workbook.  It explains some fascinating concepts about dream awareness and manipulation.  I don't want to make this post too long, so I'll just share one concept today: awareness.  I believe this single concept is the key to all lucid dreaming and can change the way you sleep forever, once it has been developed enough.  The book describes it perfectly:

"We'd like you to think of dreaming in much the same way you think of driving a car.  Remember all the times you've driven along the highway seemingly not paying attention at all.  All of a sudden you've looked at the road and realized that someone has been exerting judgment and control - and that someone you've recognized in a flash is you.  Dreaming works in a similar way.  You usually aren't consciously aware of your ability to control the action; but of course, right down to the exact words spoken by your dream characters, the very last brick in your dream house, and the precise number of petals on a flower in your dream garden, you alone are the author and designer of your dreams.  Realizing this fact is much like suddenly realizing that you are driving the car.  Waking up in your dreams, in other words, requires a subtle shift in attention, so that you learn to be more completely aware of what you're doing."

Some techniques for gaining awareness in your dreams is to practice recalling and recording dreams right after waking up.  Another is to ask yourself throughout the day "Am I dreaming?"  By developing a habit of consciously checking to make sure you are not dreaming, you might find yourself asking the same question in a dream, and being able to answer, "Yes."  There is a lot of information and techniques in the book that I won't get into.  Instead, I'll share with you the most exciting lucid dreaming experience I have ever had.

Up till this experience, my lucid dreaming experiences were small.  In this dream, however, I truly experienced awareness.  My anxiety often haunts me in my dreams, and in this case, a human-like demon had captured several of my brothers and was tearing into them with its sharp teeth.  I closed my eyes and thought, "This is a horrible dream!"  As soon as I thought these words, awareness flooded my mind.  "Wait a minute," I gasped.  "I'm dreaming.  I can change this right now."  So I approached the demon and said, "I'm tired of you being here.  Go away now."  The demon resisted, but I willed it to go away, and it just disappeared.  Poof!  I found myself alone, so I thought, "What now?"  I grinned and said, "I want to fly."  And I did!  I just took off into the sky like a bird.  My stomach lurched in fear and joy as I soared over the clouds.  It felt so real.  Unfortantely, I began to wake up shortly after taking flight.  There are techniques to prolong lucid dreaming, but I hadn't learned them yet.  But what a dream!

Image from luciddreaming.net

I have a lot to learn about lucid dreaming, but I've made a great start.  If I keep practicing, I can learn to banish anxiety whenever it tries to haunt my dreams.  Maybe I can even meet the characters in my book.  The possibilities are endless!  Even though I haven't experienced any true lucid dreams in a while, I have gained a certain amount of general awareness that allows me to make little tweaks and changes to my day-to-day dreams.  I'm sure I'll share more lucid dreams as I have them.  I'm sure my lucid dreams will never be as vivid (or as dangerous) as the dreams in "Inception," but the idea of creating my own dream world keeps me dreaming.