My name is Abbey, and there are a lot of unique things about me. First, I'm a right-brained learner. This basically means that I'm blessed with high imagination and cursed with anxiety. Second, I'm a Latter-Day Saint, who is amazed by the goodness of the Lord and all He does for me in my life. Third, I am an unschooler. The biggest lesson I learned from this education is to love learning and to pursue my passions. This blog is a collection of personal musings that will probably fall into one of these catogories. Thanks for visiting!


*All stamps courtesy of Mirz123

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Swearing and Youtube

I love Youtube!  If I want to find old television shows, I can find it on Youtube.  If I want to see if a new video game is any good, I can find it on Youtube.  And there are so many creative and hilarious series, too.  There is just one big problem with Youtube...the swearing, in both the videos and the comments.



No matter what I'm looking for on Youtube, swearing seems to be everywhere.  I love watching people play video games on Youtube, especially scary video games, but they have the tendency to cuss a lot when they're scared.  Heck, even when they're not scared, they cuss a lot.  It's a shame, because there are quite a few people on the Internet that I've had to give up watching because of their language.  It's a painful severance every time...  I discover them, check out their funny videos, and become a hopeless fan girl.  If I ran into them on the street, I would scream and ask for their autographs.  After a while, however, their swearing gets to me.  As much as I try to ignore it, I have to unsubscribe from them and walk away forever.  Well, that's not exactly true.  My biggest guilty pleasure is to sneak back onto their channels and watch their videos (and get caught by my husband, haha!)  Nevertheless, I know I have to break the habit, because being exposed to that much swearing isn't good for me.  It's just not fair!  Why do they have to swear so much?  :'(

The people I had to give up...  From left: Markiplier, the Yogscast, Pewdiepie, and Yamimash.

There is, however, a ray of hope for me.  There is one Youtube user that only uses minor swearwords, is amazingly creative and talented, and is doggone cute: Tobuscus.

a.k.a. Toby Turner

Although he still swears, he is 95% cleaner than any of the Youtubers listed above.  And he creates all sorts of interesting videos: shorts, animated cartoons, music videos (with songs he writes and performs himself), literal music videos (hilarious!), video game walkthroughs and commentaries, rants, vlogs, and more!  He is so cool and nerdy and epic, I have officially added "meet Toby Turner" on my bucket list.  I still would not recommend his channel for kids under 12, but he is a clean alternative to all of the potty-mouths out there.

Of course, there is at least one person on Youtube who does not swear at all...me!  Inspired by those listed above, I have begun recording myself playing various video games and uploading them to my Youtube channel.  So far, I have videos of Minecraft, Slender, and Tokyo Jungle with many more to come.  I also have music videos, shorts, and frogs!  Check my channel often for new videos, and if you have a certain video game you want me to play or want to see a tutorial on how to make something, please let me know through my email or the comments below.  Youtube might be a breeding ground for swear words, but there are some clean people out there who want to entertain without bad language.  Keep trying to find those people, and long live Youtube!


Monday, May 6, 2013

Opening Pandora's Box

One of my biggest anti-anxiety techniques is to live in the present, because the past makes me guilty and the future makes me worried.  Living in the here and now helps me enjoy life and be happy.  However, I was raised with the belief that I can always improve myself, and I should look for opportunities to do so.  I still believe in this philosophy, but sometimes it butts head with my anxiety.  For example, I struggle with daily scripture study because of the guilt I often feel when I'm reminded of just how imperfect I am.  I try to counter this guilt with some of my anti-anxiety techniques, such as achieving a healthy balance verses "all-or-nothing" thinking.  Still, it's never fun to open the Pandora Box in my life.  In fact, a few days ago, I went through the all-too-unpleasant experience once again.  It went something like this:

"Herp, derp.  I've been feeling so good these days, I think it's time to set a new self-improvement goal for myself."


As I seek self-improvement, I'm forced to face all of the anxieties that I had been so careful to avoid during my day-to-day life (a.k.a. open the Pandora Box)




My blissful 'live in the present' philosophy crumbles under the scrutiny of my weaknesses.  At first, I'm like this ("I haven't changed at all!"), and then I'm like...


"Don't talk to me.  I hate everyone and everything right now."


With time, the irritability and anxiety of opening my Pandora Box fades away, allowing me to pursue my self-improvement goal after all.  It's an unfortunate occurrence that is both maddening and hilarious at the same time.  However, improvement is important to me, so I've learned to accept the temporary discouragement of my Pandora's Box in order to stretch and grow.  It's just another way I have to live with my anxiety.  I suppose it's not ideal, but it's reality, and I'm okay with that.  In the end, I get past my hateful mode (haha) and get back to being happy again.  It's an ongoing process that I hope will get better with time.