No one, not even professionals, know how anxiety disorders come into being. I have a theory that right-brainers - like myself - are more prone to mental disorders because of our high levels of emotion and imagination. I mean, just the fact that I'm terrified of zombies eating my brains while taking out the trash implies that my imagination is one of the major contributing factors to my anxiety disorder! Right-brainers have the ability to pull raw emotion from the depths of their soul and turn it into beautiful works of art, whether it's paintings or poems or whatnot. At the same time, this ability to dig deep into their soul is dangerous, and can evoke a lot of negative emotion that is hard to control. In my opinion, it's all part of the right-brain package deal, which leads me into the Three Universal Truths I have learned about my anxiety disorder. These Universal Truths can be applied to just about any mental disorder, and they help me remember what is Truth through the fog of anxiety.
Universal Truth #1: You didn't do anything wrong.
When I first developed anxiety, I blamed myself. "I just have to try harder," I thought to myself, and felt like a failure every time anxiety got the better of me. "Why can't you just snap out of it?" others would accuse. I thought it was my fault that I had this anxiety disorder, and as a result, I only spiraled deeper and deeper into depression. It was only when I realized and accepted that I didn't do anything wrong was I able to start getting better. As I mentioned before, having anxiety is just part of my right-brain package deal: awesome strengths and terrible weaknesses. Nothing comes without a price, ya know. That's just the way it is.
Universal Truth #1: You didn't do anything wrong.
When I first developed anxiety, I blamed myself. "I just have to try harder," I thought to myself, and felt like a failure every time anxiety got the better of me. "Why can't you just snap out of it?" others would accuse. I thought it was my fault that I had this anxiety disorder, and as a result, I only spiraled deeper and deeper into depression. It was only when I realized and accepted that I didn't do anything wrong was I able to start getting better. As I mentioned before, having anxiety is just part of my right-brain package deal: awesome strengths and terrible weaknesses. Nothing comes without a price, ya know. That's just the way it is.
Universal Truth #2: That which suffers is not you.
When I developed anxiety, I thought and felt things that I had never experienced before. It felt like anxiety was changing me into a person that I didn't want to be. It was horrifying to feel like I was losing myself, but thankfully, I learned another Universal Truth: anxiety cannot touch my Unconditional Self. My Unconditional Self (a term used by Robert Holden in "Shift Happens") is the spiritual being deep inside me that can never be changed by an outside force like anxiety. Anxiety is like a dark cloud that covers the sun of my Unconditional Self. I may feel lost, but underneath, I am still pure and perfect. With time, I have learned to recognize and help my Unconditional Self shine through the cloud of anxiety. Now, I can truly say that I know who I am, no matter how bad my anxiety may be.
When I developed anxiety, I thought and felt things that I had never experienced before. It felt like anxiety was changing me into a person that I didn't want to be. It was horrifying to feel like I was losing myself, but thankfully, I learned another Universal Truth: anxiety cannot touch my Unconditional Self. My Unconditional Self (a term used by Robert Holden in "Shift Happens") is the spiritual being deep inside me that can never be changed by an outside force like anxiety. Anxiety is like a dark cloud that covers the sun of my Unconditional Self. I may feel lost, but underneath, I am still pure and perfect. With time, I have learned to recognize and help my Unconditional Self shine through the cloud of anxiety. Now, I can truly say that I know who I am, no matter how bad my anxiety may be.
Universal Truth #3: This may not go away completely, but things will get better with time.
As I learned more and more about my anxiety disorder, the more determined I was to make it go away. After all, with all the cognitive therapy and medicine at my disposal, it would only be a matter of time before I could cure my anxiety, right? Well, mental disorders don't work like that. If I would only be happy after my anxiety disorder was completely gone, then I would still be very unhappy. There's a fine line between always wanting to improve and accepting my limitations. Even with anxiety, I learned how to be happy today. And as I allowed myself to enjoy life despite my difficulties, I found that my anxiety got better and better with each passing day. Today, I am a very happy person, and it's thanks to these three Universal Truths.
For more information on how I combat my anxiety, check out my posts with the 'anxiety' tag, and take a look at My Resources page, too.
As I learned more and more about my anxiety disorder, the more determined I was to make it go away. After all, with all the cognitive therapy and medicine at my disposal, it would only be a matter of time before I could cure my anxiety, right? Well, mental disorders don't work like that. If I would only be happy after my anxiety disorder was completely gone, then I would still be very unhappy. There's a fine line between always wanting to improve and accepting my limitations. Even with anxiety, I learned how to be happy today. And as I allowed myself to enjoy life despite my difficulties, I found that my anxiety got better and better with each passing day. Today, I am a very happy person, and it's thanks to these three Universal Truths.
For more information on how I combat my anxiety, check out my posts with the 'anxiety' tag, and take a look at My Resources page, too.
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