It can be difficult for "normal" people to understand the daily struggles a person with a mental disability faces everyday. Even I, back in my self-righteous and pre-anxious days, couldn't understand why people would let their mental disabilities get them down. Eventually, I developed an anxiety disorder as well (wow, talk about karma). NOW I understood what it was like. All of my self-righteous judgments melted away. But it pained me to know that there were still people out there who, like my old self, judged those with mental disabilities. There are some people who even have the nerve to think that mental disabilities aren't real. How can I explain what it's like to truly live with anxiety? The answer came with the Spoon Theory! Please, I earnestly invite you to read the full article here, but I'd also like to give the short version of the Spoon Theory with you.
Image from www.butyoudontlooksick.com
Christine (the woman who came up with the theory) was at a restaurant with her friend. Even though they had been friends for a long time, her friend asked what it was like to live with Lupus. Christine grabbed all of the available spoons from their table and other nearby tables, put them in her friends hands, and said, “Here you go, you have Lupus." The spoons represented the energy and effort one could expend in a day. Most people have infinite amount of spoons, but her friend only had twelve. Christine then instructed her friend to go through a typical workday. As her friend said, "Get out of bed," Christine took one of the spoons. Her friend said, "Take a shower," and Christine took away a spoon. Before she had even gotten to work, half of her spoons were gone. How was she going to make it through the work day? And once she was back home, how could she then have the energy to do chores, laundry, and cook dinner? Through this analogy, Christine really demonstrated how carefully one must use their energy accordingly when they suffer from Lupus.
Now, I will apply my anxiety disorder to the Spoon Theory. When I wake up, I know I have to spend a certain amount of my limited spoons on my job. When I come home, I might be able to do some chores, but if I had an especially hard time at work, I just don't have the "spoons" to do so. If I have an anxiety attack during the day, I may no longer have enough "spoons" to work on my book or go out with friends, because dealing with anxiety attacks requires a lot of "spoons." I must try my best to plan ahead of time how I will use my spoons so I can get the most out of my day. Therefore, if someone asks me to do a big, unexpected favor for them, I might have a mental breakdown because I don't have enough "spoons" to handle the extra work. The Spoon Theory is a great way for people to understand what living with a mental disability is like. Even now, my mom and I talk about how many "spoons" we have or need or used up, and smile knowingly at each other.
Once again, I urge you to read the original Spoon Theory, because I just don't do it justice. You will be glad you did. :) Do you or someone you know suffer from Lupus, a mental disability, or something else that makes their life difficult? Share this with them! It will make them smile and nod in total understanding.
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