There is a lot of danger out there, and don't get me wrong, bad things happen to people everyday. Severe illness, rape, house fire, and unexpected death are just a few. Bad things could happen to you, and they could happen to me. As a person with anxiety, you would think I would be tormented by the countless "what-ifs" that could happen to me at anytime. I do worry about losing my husband, or getting attacked, but surprisingly, I don't worry about stuff like that too often. I do some things to prevent and prepare for the "what ifs," but in the end, I don't really think about them. Maybe I'm a fool for it. On the one hand, I live without fear, so life could blindside me at any moment. On the other hand, I live without fear, and that is a blessing in itself.
My husband is very interested in self-defense techniques such as reading body language, and he's always practicing drills with his gun. He'll probably be a lot more prepared than I am to handle an emergency. I want to learn how to use a kubotan (future post, maybe?) and take karate lessons one day, but I do these things because they're interesting to me, not because I am driven by fear. There was a time when anxious thoughts clouded my mind. I was afraid of the smallest things, and worried about the future constantly. I was miserable all day, every day. I just could not live like that. One of the practices of unconditional living is to let go of the past and don't worry about the future. This doesn't mean that I don't plan for things, especially emergencies. It means that if I focus on the 5% of life that is bad, or could be bad, I miss out on the 95% of life that is happy and beautiful. A boiling tragedy may be waiting around the corner for me sometime in the future, but as long as I live in the present, I am happy today. I may be a fool for being like this, but at least I'm a happy fool.
This concept also applies to my religion. Even the most stalwart saint has doubts sometimes about their religion. Is there really a God? What if I'm wrong and there's nothing waiting for me on the "other side?" What if this life is all I got? These fears might drive someone to live on the wild side of life and do what they want (like that silly phrase "YOLO"). But honestly, when did riotous living ever make someone happy? No amount of money, partying, or sex can bring the kind of joy that unconditional living brings. YOLO is all about seeking more; unconditional living is all about appreciating what you already have. I might be a fool for believing in God, but since my religion makes me happy, then I will be a happy fool. I'll worry about what will really happen on the other side when the time actually comes to go to the other side. Until then, I will live the way that makes me happy, and unconditional living is that way.
I know what it is like to live in constant fear because anxiety made me that way for a long time. Even if it's "realistic," I just won't live that way. It's too dark and miserable. I choose to embrace unconditional living because it combats my anxiety and brings happiness to my life. No matter what life throws at me, good or bad, I want to be a happy fool.
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| Image from Live Life Bigger |
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