Am I Crazy...or Creative?

I like to stay fairly up-to-date on the latest viral videos that pops up across the Internet. Recently, I saw a somewhat disturbing video of an interview with Charlie Sheen. I don't really know much about the guy except that he's an actor who does a lot of partying. My reaction to his eccentric interview was, "O-k-a-y, he's a psycho." At the same time, however, I was intrigued by some of his comments, especially relating to his unpredictable mannerisms. Below is the beginning of the interview:

Interviewer: "Your anger and your hate is coming off as erratic to people."
Sheen: "Passion. My passion. It's all passion."
Interviewer: "Okay, your passion is coming off as erratic to people."
Sheen: "Well, you borrow my brain for five seconds, and just be like ‘dude, can’t handle it, unplug this b******’. Yeah, because it just fires in a way that’s just is, um, I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm."
Interviewer: "I think some of those things that you're putting out there are making people think something's wrong with you. Some are saying that you're bi-polar."
Sheen: "Wow, what does that mean?"
Interviewer: "I guess that you are on two ends of the spectrum."
Sheen: "Wow, and then what? What’s the cure? Medicine? Make me like them? Not gonna happen. I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what?"

In case you're interested in seeing the whole interview, here's a link.

So...Charlie Sheen has erratic behavior, which he calls passion. Is this a problem that needs to be solved, or is it the key to his creativity? Now I am NOT saying that it's okay to party, do drugs, and be a womanizer. What I am saying is that Sheen doesn't consider his eccentricity to be a disability. Bi-polar is seen as a bad thing to have, but Sheen declares that bi-polar, or bi-winning, is what makes him who he is. He doesn't want to be "cured," because otherwise, he wouldn't be the famous person that he is anymore.

This got me thinking about my anxiety. Naturally, anxiety is a bad thing to have. It's considered a disability, and there is medicine and other treatments for it. But then I got to thinking...what if anxiety is the price for my creativity? I have the ability to imagine and create things that "normal" people around me can't. I'm a deeply sensitive and emotional individual. Because of this, I can delve deep into my emotions and pull inspiration from them. Perhaps it also means that I am more prone to a mental disability, like anxiety.

Think of a creative person like a watermelon. The pink fruit represents the amazing stuff that the creative person can make. Art, acting, writing, dance, photography... The world would be such an immensely boring place without creative people. However, the watermelon is also dotted with black seeds. The creative person can't help but run into them as they delve into their creativity. The seeds represent a mental disability of some sort. Anxiety, bi-polar, anorexia, depression... These weaknesses are a challenge to deal with, but they don't mean that the person is "broken." It just means that with great strengths comes great weaknesses.

Here's an illustration I've made that explains this concept further. The first person is a normal, average, run-of-the-mill, respectable citizen. This is the person who has normal strengths
(i.e. keeps a decent job, maintains a good marriage, retires at a good age) and normal weaknesses (i.e. doesn't get enough sleep at night, has no patience at checkout lines, can't keep the house clean for more than five minutes). The second person, however, is someone with a mental disability, or as I like to call it, a mental weakness. They can barely - if at all - hold a job, go to college, or maintain a relationship. They always feel sad, angry, irritable, guilty, and/or miserable. Normal people just don't understand why people with a mental weakness can't just suck it up. "Crap happens," they say. "Just deal with it like us normal people." This, of course, makes the person with a mental weakness feel even more like crap. They give up trying, because apparently their best is never good enough. Eventually, they just accept themselves as a broken human being; a mistake that never should have been put in the world in the first place. Often times, suicide follows.


The next picture, however, illustrates how people with mental weaknesses should view themselves. The reason they have a mental weakness is because they have an abnormal amount of strength. They can write bestsellers! Paint masterpieces! Act until their audience is bawling like a baby! With this amount of talent, creative people could rule the world! So, naturally, there has to be opposition in all things. Because they are so intensely talented, creative people are also intensely tormented. This sucks no matter how you slice it, but at least I don't have to go through life thinking I'm a broken human being. I may have challenges, but it will be worth it in the end. Not only do I hope to publish books someday, but I also hope I can help people with the same weaknesses I have understand just what amazing people they really are. We creative people are incredible.

Think of all the amazing, creative people in history. Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger, Charles Dickens, Elvis Presley, Virginia Woolf, Harrison Ford, even Isaac Newton... All of these people had a mental weakness of some kind. Some of them, like Virginia Woolf, reached a point in their lives in which their weakness outweighed their strengths, leading to suicide. I strongly believe that it's no coincidence that both past and modern geniuses have emotional difficulties. It goes to show that nothing comes without a price. The more we understand and appreciate the creative person, the less they will have to suffer alone. It's my goal to spread this philosophy so that people like me can be truly proud of who they are, even with their weaknesses.

So, in answer to my original question, am I crazy or creative? For me and a lot of other people out in the world, we're both. :)