I Miss My Man

Earlier this month, my wonderful husband got his very first nursing job at Alamance Health Care Center.  This is an exciting milestone for both of us since he has been looking for a job for several months without any success.  With this new job, not only will we be financially secure, but Ben will be able to find new fulfillment in developing his new career.  And I get to be the good wife who makes his lunch and leave little notes in his bag.  ^_^  Everything seemed to be going just right.  About a week ago, however, I realized I was getting kind of depressed.  I was spending too much time in front of the computer and eating crappy food.  After some soul-searching, I realize that I'm just missing Ben.  I mean, before his new job, we spent most of the day together.  Even if we weren't directly interacting together, he was always close by.  And sure, we do get to spend a little time together after he comes home from work, but he has a lot of responsibilities outside of his job, too.  On top of that, he has to wake up r-e-a-l-l-y early, so he has to go to bed way before I do.  I'm happy that he's working, and I'm grateful for the money it provides us, and I knew this was coming anyway!  I guess I just didn't realize that I'd have to go through an emotional adjustment.  The first thing I thought of as I started working through my feelings was a hip-hop dance from season 4 of "So You Think You Can Dance."  It was performed by Chelsie Hightower and Mark Kanemura to the song "Bleeding Love."  It's a beautiful and emotional dance that depicts a man getting ready to leave for his job, but the woman wants him to stay and be with her.  He has to go eventually, though, and you can just feel the woman's loneliness as he walks away.  There are many interpretations of the dance, but to me, it represents the turmoil I feel right now.  I miss Ben; I'd keep him by my side all day if I could, but I can't.  I can't be selfish. I know I'll get to the other side of this and be perfectly fine.  After all, Ben is going to have to work for many, many years to come.  But it's okay that I feel a little sad right now.  Some people might roll their eyes at such puppy-dog-like love, but I treasure this stage in our relationship.  Ben and I have only been married for two and half years; our love is still young and not worn down by time and hardship.  My sadness may be silly, but it's real, and it helps me love Ben even more.