Minecraft - A Game For All Players

Minecraft. It's a word that's becoming more and more common in the English language, like a secret code that only a few understand. There are usually other words associated with this word, such as Creeper, Diamond Pickaxe, and "heck yeah, I love that game!" I anticipate this review will be lengthy, so I may divide it into several posts. This post, however, focuses on the player diversity of Minecraft. No matter what kind of game you prefer to play, Minecraft will probably accommodate you.

First, a few facts. Minecraft is a computer game developed by Mojang. It can only be purchased online from the official Minecraft website: http://www.minecraft.net/ In a nutshell, Minecraft is a world made up entirely of cubes. You can explore, manipulate, and build whatever you want. It's hard to do the game justice by mere words, so check out the trailer below for a better idea of what Minecraft is all about...



I will warn you right up front: Minecraft can be extremely addicting. No video or computer game is inherently bad. Even though Minecraft, like World of Warcraft and Farmville, has a reputation for wasting people's lives, it doesn't have to be that way with a little self-discipline. And that's for the individual to figure out for themselves. As for me, I LOVE Minecraft! And a lot of other people would agree with me. What makes Minecraft such a sensation? I believe it's because Minecraft's diversity accommodates a variety of different player preferences, such as:

1. The Builder: Minecraft has endless possibilities for a builder personality. Buildings, dungeons, statues, mazes... You name it, you can build it. I don't quite have the eye to build stuff, but here are some images of amazing structures that other people have built:






This is a log cabin created by the Minecraft forum user Baxter
(click here for more pics)















This is the inside of the same log cabin. I want to live there!













People have also created jaw-dropping statues. This Mario was created by Leefield
(for more of his Minecraft work, click here.)






2. The Explorer: Minecraft is the world that never ends...literally! Mountains, valleys, deserts, jungles, swamps, caves, oceans, forests, glaciers, ravines. Each world you create is uniquely generated, so no two worlds are ever the same. And what big worlds they are! Maps, compasses, and landmarks are necessary to explore it all. And even then, there is a labyrinth of tunnels, caverns, lava pits, dungeons, mines, and strongholds beneath your feet. And if that wasn't enough, the world actually generates new land whenever you reach the edge of the map.











3. The Treasure Hunter: finding and gathering materials and treasure is a big part of Minecraft. There is a practical side to treasure hunting. Much-needed food can be foraged, plants can be acquired, and simple building materials like lumber, stone, dirt, and sand is necessary for making a shelter. But the real joy is in hunting for REAL treasure: gold, redstone, and precious diamond. These can only be found deep underground where monsters roam and twisty paths can get even the most die-hard explorers lost. And if you're lucky, you will stumble upon dungeons where you can find treasure chests with rare items within.




A scary cave deep underground. Prime treasure-hunting!










4. Monster Slayer: Minecraft has several modes. Creative mode, for example, is for those who just want to build with an unlimited supply of materials right at their finger tips. Most people, however, play in Survival mode. This includes a variety of monsters that come out at night or linger in dark caves. These monsters are no push-overs, and when dealing with them in large numbers or with inadequate armor and weapons, they can be deadly. Players must rush to get a crude shelter built before night falls or become monster chow. Also, anyone wishing to hunt for treasure deep underground will have dangerous creatures to contend with. A few of the monsters include zombies, skeletons, and giant spiders. The most famous of these monsters, however, goes to the Creeper.


These strange, green monsters sneak up on unsuspecting players and...BLOW UP! Not only does this inflict terrible damage to the player, but any nearby blocks are blown to bits. This is especially frustrating when you are trying to build something. I've had a Creeper blow up an entire house and everything in it. It's a tragedy only Minecraft fans can truly understand.




5. Nest Builders: I admit, I fall under this category. As much as I like adventuring, there's nothing more satisfying to me than creating a safe, beautiful home to live in. I'm not a great builder, but I craft my homes with love. Lanterns light the halls, rugs lay on the floor, flowers border the glass windows, paintings line the walls, and all of my belongings are organized neatly in labeled chests. Outside, I have a garden. Wheat, watermelon, pumpkins, sugar cane, and cactus grow there. I also raise sheep, cows, chickens, and pigs. I find a lot of joy in tending my little world. Perhaps that's why the dishes are piling up in my real kitchen... I'm joking!



A lovely room created by Leangreen (blog link)



















A lovely farm of golden wheat.









In conclusion, Minecraft is a simple but diverse game that is sure to please many different kind of players, young or old, experienced or newbie. Don't be afraid to check it out. Who knows, maybe you'll catch the Minecraft fever, too. If you already play the game, leave a comment describing which kind of Minecraft player you are. Questions are welcomed, too!

Coming soon: "Minecraft - How to Survive the First Day," a video post for new players. Also, I might write a parenting guide to Minecraft that gives a player's perspective on why the game is so addicting, why right-brainers especially are drawn to it, and why the game - when played in moderation - is good for the heart and soul.

A Little Nature In My Home

I often go on random errands with my mom, and one day, I found myself at the Boy Scout store. This particular store was large and expansive, and very impressive. They had everything from an Native American roach kit to handmade, leather belts to sporks. I was drawn to the book section and one book kind of jumped out at me from the shelf. "The Nature Principle: Human Restoration and the End of Nature-Deficit Disorder" by Richard Louv. I was intrigued. I liked nature, but what was this nature-deficit disorder? Surely a homeschooler like me wouldn't have that, right? I flipped through the pages and skimmed the chapters, and was immediately hooked. I needed the information in this book!
In a nutshell, nature-deficit disorder is a fancy way of saying that a person has become too disconnected from nature. Even a nature lover like myself spends way too much time inside the house in front of a electronic screen (like blogging, oh no!) But Louv is not anti-technology. On the contrary, he recognizes and approves of the amazing advancements human society has made. The Internet is awesome, cellphones are essential, and blogging is a great way to share ideas with hundreds of people. In his book, Louv teaches that technology should not be replaced with nature interaction, but that there should be a healthy balance. The more technology that's in my life, the more nature interaction there should be, too. Louv does a great job citing dozens of scientific studies and theories that support the benefits of nature in the human life. I prefer personal experiences and stories myself, but the scientific info is good for any doubters who may read his book. And Louv does share his personal insights into nature interactions as well as the insights of others. It's those parts of the book that especially touch and inspire me, because I am a feeler. I read something and know it is true deep in my heart, or at least the thought inspired by the reading is true, if that makes sense.

I was inspired to spend more time outside, even when it is hot and muggy like it often is in North Carolina. I also wanted to bring more nature inside my home as well. The main way I have done this is through my frog terrarium.

It's a 30-gallon fish tank on a wooden stand. Inside are three glass figurines from Hobby Lobby, two live plants (pothos and dracaena), and a green tree frog. I LOVE frogs and hope to put more in the tank! Anyway, this terrarium brings a bit of nature into my home. It's green, bright, and makes me happy. And hopefully, it helps me avoid the dreaded nature-deficit disorder.







The terrarium seen from afar. It took some time and effort to put it together. I'll blog about the process another time.















A closer look inside the terrarium. The ivy on the top and the fern in the middle are both fake plants. The pothos is on the far left and the dracaena is on the far right. Both are easy plants to grow in a terrarium and safe for frogs to crawl around in.










The glass squirrel is probably my favorite! They were unexpectedly expensive, but thankfully 50% off at Hobby Lobby. In case you're wondering what that big, ugly black thing is in the background, it's a heater for the frog.

















The fake froggie next to the pothos.
















The very artsy snail next to the dracaena.



















The real froggie on the fake ivy. It's a green tree frog bought from Petsmart. It is not tame but can be caught and held if I really put the effort in. I love frogs!

VaHomeschoolers 2012 Conference

This weekend, my mom and I traveled to our neighboring state, Virginia, to attend the VaHomeschoolers Conference and Resource Fair. I have attended this conference several times in the past, and even though it is small compared to other conferences (about 300 attended), it is very pleasant. This year, the conference was held at the beautiful Cultural Arts Center at Glen Allen, which alone had many wonderful art displays.There was also a wonderful little shop called "The Atack Family Gift Shop" that had gorgeous jewelry, paperweights, pottery, paintings, and other crafty things. In fact, I bought a beautiful pearl necklace and black-beaded bracelet from there, and love them!

When my mom and I first arrived, we were led by very easy-to-follow signs to the used resource sale and book fair. There were dozens of boxes filled with tons of used books of all kinds: textbooks, fiction, picture books, cookbooks, self-help, science, classics, sticker books, history, and guidebooks just to name a few. There were also new books for sale, many of which had been recommended resources by the conference presenters (including my mom). The sight of so many books gave me chills, and before I knew it, I was pulled in by the alluring power emanating from those paper-bound treasures and quickly acquired a precarious stack to purchase immediately. Thankfully, I know how impulsive I can be, so I forced myself to walk around for a few minutes to shake the magic spell the books had cast over me and to rationally pick from my pile what I really wanted. Most of the books were easy to put back, but one was harder than the others: "Living Color" by Steve Jenkins.

It reminded me of a childhood favorite of mine, "Hailstones and Halibut Bones," which was an exploration of color in the world around us. I love colors, and I wanted to buy "Living Color" for my future child to enjoy. But who's to say that my son or daughter will be interested in colors like I was? They might like robots or something. So I reluctantly put it back. I finally settled on two books: "Confessions of a Slacker Mom," which promised a funny memoir on the imperfections of motherhood; and "The Unicorn Treasury: Stories, Poems, and Unicorn Lore," because Bruce Coville books made a strong impact on me when I was young, so I like collecting his books wherever I see them.

Excerpt: "I think parents probably have better instincts than they know. You don't have to be a pediatrician or a child psychologist or an academician to have some inborn wisdom about raising your child. You just have to be a mom or a dad with a sense of what's practical, and a willingness to listen to your inner voice, instead of bowing to the inevitable pressures of 'perfect parenting' messages. And don't think this book is just one more installment in those endless parenting archives. I'm not going to end each chapter with reference material such as, "The Thirteen Baby Supplies You Really Need" or "The Only Six Toys You Ever Have to Buy" or "The Three Disciplinary Methods That Actually Work." I'm way too much of a slacker to come up with lists like that. But I do hope it'll give you enough to mull over that the next time you hear from some magazine, TV show, friend, or in-law about the latest thing that you, as a parent, are supposed to do or buy, you'll pause. And if you hear your inner voice saying something like 'yuck,' you'll listen."

There were a bunch of vendors in the conference as well. Most of them were advertising local programs or educational resources, but one stood out to me: the chicken vendor. The vendor was run by a nice woman who was passionate about raising backyard chickens. She had several books on the topic as well as a real live chicken named Oprah Henfrey on display. The chicken was huge and beautiful, and very interesting to watch. For more information, see the chicken website: www.chiknegg.com

Saturday was when all the wise and wonderful presenters gave their workshops. Alas, I wasn't able to hear them all, but several workshops were especially good:

"Beginning Homeschooling" parts 1 and 2 by Stephanie Elms

"The Natural Stages of Growth in Writing" by Julie Bogart

"On Homeschooling and Structure" by Jeanne Faulconer

Of course, my mom - Cindy Gaddis - was one of the best, too.

"The Collaborative Learning Process: A Strengths-Based Education Approach"

and "Understanding the Right-Brained Child" (for more information, see my mom's blog!)

For the first time ever, I was my mom's assistant during the workshop because she could not present and run the projector at the same time. My mom did a great job speaking, and many of those in attendance were really moved by what she said. A lot of people talked to my mom after the workshop was over, but some people asked me questions, too. Most of the parents had young children, so they had yet to see if homeschooling was going to work out for their kids. I was proud to be an example of a normal, functioning homeschooled adult. In fact, I felt a little bit like a celebrity. "Yes, even a homeschooler like me can go to college, have a good job, and get married to a hot man!" ;)

The VaHomeschoolers Conference was simple but effective. I wish there could have been more activity-based workshops available, or a place where people young and old could gather to play nerdy cards games (*cough,* Magic the Gathering, *cough*) Despite this, I had a nice, relaxing weekend with my mom and the homeschoolers of Virginia.

For more information about VaHomeschoolers, check out their website: http://www.vahomeschoolers.org/

The "Clean-Slate" Syndrome

This blog post is four stories rolled into one. The first and main story is about the "Clean-Slate" syndrome, a destructive anxiety-influenced habit that dictated my relationships for a part of my life. The second story is about how I met the man of my dreams. The third story partly describes how I developed an anxiety disorder that haunted me for the next year of my life. The fourth, and best story, is how I overcame both the clean-slate syndrome and anxiety, and married before-mentioned man of my dreams.

I think I always knew that I had the "Clean-Slate" syndrome. Whenever things didn't go quite right, or I made a mistake, or I neglected something for a long time, I wanted to leave and start fresh. This especially happened with people. It's a form of "all-or-nothing" thinking, which is a big aspect of anxiety. It is also tied with perfectionism, which I definitely had a problem with. These related topics, however, are a little too vast to include in this post. So I'll continue with the "Clean-Slate" syndrome.

Growing up, I was a late-bloomer when it came to socializing. I didn't wear make-up until I was sixteen years old, and I wanted nothing to do with boys until I was eighteen. When I finally became interested in the social scene, I had developed a bad reputation for myself. Well, bad isn't exactly the right word. Basically, people viewed me as the "weird" girl who was nice and all, but was not worth approaching. This was my fault since I didn't want to be social with them, but now that I wanted to change that, I had a stigma that I could not shake. Rather than trying to reassert myself into my local social scene, I wanted to start fresh. I wanted to learn perfect socializing tools. I wanted a clean slate. I started going to Young Single Adult activities in the stake where I met lots of new people who did not know about my unsocial days. It didn't take long, however, before I wanted to start fresh again. I was still new to flirting with boys and hanging out with girls, and after a series of "mistakes," I was ready for a new clean slate. I wanted another chance to do things perfect, so I headed to college. Brigham Young University was a wonderful experience. Nevertheless, I continued to clean-slate my life. New roommates, new wards, new clubs, new classes, new gathering places. Old friends that I let down, crushes that didn't work out, and experiences that didn't quite go right were left behind. Each time I clean-slated, I felt like I "succeeded" at the next thing a little better. To me, clean-slating was about building skill and knowledge that would help me avoid mistakes in the future. There is some truth to this, naturally, but I was still seeking perfection that did not exist. Thankfully, when I came back to North Carolina for summer break, I met someone who would change me forever.

I had heard about Ben from my dad. He told me a new young adult had moved into my ward's boundary, and my dad was going to set me up on a date with him when I got home. I had gone on a few set-ups at college, and while they were good dates, they didn't go anywhere. So I didn't think anymore about Ben...until I went to my home ward. My mom and I were standing in the foyer after sacrament meeting. She gestured toward the chapel doors and whispered, "Oh, that's Ben over there." I turned and saw the hottest Asian man walking toward me. I literally spun around, threw my arms around my mom, and whispered, "Oh my gosh, he's hot!" That was the beginning of it all. :)













Ben and I fell for each other fast and hard. He was the first man I had ever held hands with and kissed, and my first real boyfriend. I was having the time of my life! After dating for about four months, we were already talking about marriage. We even went looking at rings. Then...

RRRRRAAAAAAAAWWWW!!!!!






That's right. We had a series of fights. We both said pretty mean things to each other, and came really close to breaking up. In the end, we decided to stay together. However, I was never quite the same. I wanted the clean slate, just like with those college friends. I made mistakes that would forever taint Ben and I's relationship (or so I thought). I had failed to maintain the perfect relationship, so I wanted to take my new knowledge and apply it to a new boyfriend. There was just one little problem...



I was in love.











I couldn't leave; not this time. I wanted to be with Ben so badly, and it killed me just thinking about letting him go. And yet I still ached to start fresh. I still yearned for perfection. I realized that if I wanted to be with Ben, there would never be a clean slate with him. There was no way I could take back the hurt that I inflicted on him. I would never have a perfect record with him. We would have to progress with that history and those memories. He had discovered the real me, the one who is FULL of imperfection. There was no guarantee that Ben would love the real me. If he decided to leave, there would be nothing I could do to stop him. I couldn't control the outcome of this relationship; I never could. Perfection was always an illusion, and when I realized this, my perfect little world that I created fell apart. I was weak, vulnerable, dirty...imperfect. Yet I could not run anymore. I had to continue down the path that lay before me if I wanted to be with Ben, and to be honest, I was terrified. I no longer had the benefit of being viewed through rose-colored glasses or seen as the perfect girlfriend. I had to stand up for myself, and I had no idea whether it would be enough. This is when I had my first anxiety attacks.

















Of course, anxiety didn't help any. My imperfect self was already exposed to Ben, and now I was melting down and freaking out. I was beyond imperfect! Ben truly saw me at my worst. I thought for sure that he would never love me after everything I put him through, but he did. He stayed with me, even through all of the crap. And trust me, the crap continued even through our four-month engagement. But we made it. Our wedding day was WONDERFUL! As scary as it was, I didn't run away when things got bad and imperfect. I put my trust in Ben, and vice versa. And now I know the meaning of true love.


















This story marked the end of the "Clean-Slate" syndrome, but my journey with Ben was just the beginning of a personal transformation. After everything I went through, I learned the dangers of perfection, judgement, projection, and expectations. I also learned the true meaning of love, trust, faith, hope, forgiveness, and peace. I still struggle with anxiety, but it does not dictate my life anymore. And Ben is still the man of my dreams. :) I'm so lucky that I married my best friend, my faithful protector, and my compassionate supporter. There will probably many future blog posts that will refer to my transformation journey, and I'm still learning everyday. But now I don't feel the urge to clean-slate anymore. Life is a miracle and a blessing, imperfections and all.

Songs Have Color

One of the unique and strange things about me is that whenever I listen to a song, a color pops into my head. It's not a conscious thing; it just happens. The color isn't the main thought at the forefront of my brain; it's more like a backdrop, like a desktop wallpaper. At this time, there is no rhyme or reason to these colors, but to me, the color/song match-ups just make sense. Below are some examples:

"Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore" by Reo Speedwagon.

A lovely blend of pink and sky blue.

My song colors are rarely just a solid color, or even a single color. They move and flow with the music, fast or slow, depending on the beat. I'm using desktop wallpaper to give the most accurate example I can. :)

"Bad" by Michael Jackson.

Orange and red mixed.

"Poker Face" by Lady Gaga.

Black with a mix of violet.

Club songs usually have a black base to it with brighter colors that flash across the "screen." "Poker Face" consists of mainly purple, but some songs, like "You Make Me Feel" by Cobra Starship, is a cacophony of rainbow lines that flash and twirl.

"Halo" by Beyonce.

Different shades of orange.

Along with the different shades of orange, there is a touch of "sunlight" in this song.

An interesting fact about colors and classical music! Classical pieces, like from Beethoven, do not stay one color. In fact, classical music changes so quickly, it's really hard for my brain to keep track of what color it is! One day, while my dad was listening to classical music on the radio, he asked me what color it was in my head. In a matter of a few seconds, it went from navy blue, to cream with brown lines, to hot red! I believe this occurred because classical music is much more complex and sophisticated than your average song. It's kind of cool. :)

I believe I have a song/color connection because of my creative mind. What appears in your mind when you listen to music? Who knows what kind of mental images something as powerful as music can evoke.

Am I Crazy...or Creative?

I like to stay fairly up-to-date on the latest viral videos that pops up across the Internet. Recently, I saw a somewhat disturbing video of an interview with Charlie Sheen. I don't really know much about the guy except that he's an actor who does a lot of partying. My reaction to his eccentric interview was, "O-k-a-y, he's a psycho." At the same time, however, I was intrigued by some of his comments, especially relating to his unpredictable mannerisms. Below is the beginning of the interview:

Interviewer: "Your anger and your hate is coming off as erratic to people."
Sheen: "Passion. My passion. It's all passion."
Interviewer: "Okay, your passion is coming off as erratic to people."
Sheen: "Well, you borrow my brain for five seconds, and just be like ‘dude, can’t handle it, unplug this b******’. Yeah, because it just fires in a way that’s just is, um, I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm."
Interviewer: "I think some of those things that you're putting out there are making people think something's wrong with you. Some are saying that you're bi-polar."
Sheen: "Wow, what does that mean?"
Interviewer: "I guess that you are on two ends of the spectrum."
Sheen: "Wow, and then what? What’s the cure? Medicine? Make me like them? Not gonna happen. I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what?"

In case you're interested in seeing the whole interview, here's a link.

So...Charlie Sheen has erratic behavior, which he calls passion. Is this a problem that needs to be solved, or is it the key to his creativity? Now I am NOT saying that it's okay to party, do drugs, and be a womanizer. What I am saying is that Sheen doesn't consider his eccentricity to be a disability. Bi-polar is seen as a bad thing to have, but Sheen declares that bi-polar, or bi-winning, is what makes him who he is. He doesn't want to be "cured," because otherwise, he wouldn't be the famous person that he is anymore.

This got me thinking about my anxiety. Naturally, anxiety is a bad thing to have. It's considered a disability, and there is medicine and other treatments for it. But then I got to thinking...what if anxiety is the price for my creativity? I have the ability to imagine and create things that "normal" people around me can't. I'm a deeply sensitive and emotional individual. Because of this, I can delve deep into my emotions and pull inspiration from them. Perhaps it also means that I am more prone to a mental disability, like anxiety.

Think of a creative person like a watermelon. The pink fruit represents the amazing stuff that the creative person can make. Art, acting, writing, dance, photography... The world would be such an immensely boring place without creative people. However, the watermelon is also dotted with black seeds. The creative person can't help but run into them as they delve into their creativity. The seeds represent a mental disability of some sort. Anxiety, bi-polar, anorexia, depression... These weaknesses are a challenge to deal with, but they don't mean that the person is "broken." It just means that with great strengths comes great weaknesses.

Here's an illustration I've made that explains this concept further. The first person is a normal, average, run-of-the-mill, respectable citizen. This is the person who has normal strengths
(i.e. keeps a decent job, maintains a good marriage, retires at a good age) and normal weaknesses (i.e. doesn't get enough sleep at night, has no patience at checkout lines, can't keep the house clean for more than five minutes). The second person, however, is someone with a mental disability, or as I like to call it, a mental weakness. They can barely - if at all - hold a job, go to college, or maintain a relationship. They always feel sad, angry, irritable, guilty, and/or miserable. Normal people just don't understand why people with a mental weakness can't just suck it up. "Crap happens," they say. "Just deal with it like us normal people." This, of course, makes the person with a mental weakness feel even more like crap. They give up trying, because apparently their best is never good enough. Eventually, they just accept themselves as a broken human being; a mistake that never should have been put in the world in the first place. Often times, suicide follows.


The next picture, however, illustrates how people with mental weaknesses should view themselves. The reason they have a mental weakness is because they have an abnormal amount of strength. They can write bestsellers! Paint masterpieces! Act until their audience is bawling like a baby! With this amount of talent, creative people could rule the world! So, naturally, there has to be opposition in all things. Because they are so intensely talented, creative people are also intensely tormented. This sucks no matter how you slice it, but at least I don't have to go through life thinking I'm a broken human being. I may have challenges, but it will be worth it in the end. Not only do I hope to publish books someday, but I also hope I can help people with the same weaknesses I have understand just what amazing people they really are. We creative people are incredible.

Think of all the amazing, creative people in history. Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger, Charles Dickens, Elvis Presley, Virginia Woolf, Harrison Ford, even Isaac Newton... All of these people had a mental weakness of some kind. Some of them, like Virginia Woolf, reached a point in their lives in which their weakness outweighed their strengths, leading to suicide. I strongly believe that it's no coincidence that both past and modern geniuses have emotional difficulties. It goes to show that nothing comes without a price. The more we understand and appreciate the creative person, the less they will have to suffer alone. It's my goal to spread this philosophy so that people like me can be truly proud of who they are, even with their weaknesses.

So, in answer to my original question, am I crazy or creative? For me and a lot of other people out in the world, we're both. :)

"She Can't Handle Her TV"

I had an interesting experience tonight while watching TV with my husband. To be exact, we were watching Netflix; we don't have cable by choice. We were watching the 7th or 8th episode of a cool show called "White Collar." Ben and I like the two main characters, but at the end of the episode, one of the good guys turned out to be the bad guy! I was stunned, and frankly, a little upset. But a show is a show, so I accepted it and was prepared to move on. In the next episode, however, it turned out that the good guy who we thought was a bad guy was still a good guy. Yay! All's well that ends well, right?

At the end of the episode, Ben turned to me and said, "See? I knew he couldn't have been the bad guy. But look at you! You were ready to accept he was a scumbag."
I wanted to get a laugh out of Ben, so I said dramataclly, "You can't become too involved with a TV show, Ben. In the end, you will only get hurt."
Ben laughed, and said something quite insightful: "Is that why you watch America's Home Videos over and over? Because it's safe?"

In that moment, I realized he was right! I do watch AFV a lot. I've watched so many episodes, I'm pretty sure I've seen every clip from the show at least ten times. In a way, I always wondered why I couldn't stop watching AFV, even when it was just another rerun, but now I know why.

I'm a very sensitive person. This is good in a lot of ways. But it also means that I'm highly affected by emotionally-triggering things, like TV shows. I know that it's all pretend. No one dies, no one gets hurt. They all go home after acting on set and live a real life. But my high imagination is very invested in pretend things. As far as my imagination is concerned, "White Collar" is real. It's this vivid imagination that helps me write books, do art, etc. And it also sends me on an emotional roller coaster during a simple TV show.

At the start of the show, I'm all like...



"I can handle this. I'm an adult; it's just a show."






After the show, even after the TV is turned off, I'm usually like...


"That was so intense. I can't believe [that terrible thing happened] or [such and such died]. I was so emotionally invested in that character and now that [this or that occurred], who knows what will happen next? No one is safe. The characters that I love could be taken away from me at any moment. Oh, the world is so cruel! Where's my husband? Don't die on me, too, honey! DON'T DIE!" *huddles under blanket*



Clearly, this is an example of how creativity is both a blessing and a curse. The fact that my husband understands why I get so weepy during shows is a great comfort, and in the end, it really is just a show. As I continue to discover, understand, and accept my weaknesses, they will have less and less power over me. And being able to laugh at myself is important, too. Are there things in your life that sometimes evoke these same kind of reactions? To this day, Ben and I watch "White Collar," and we look forward to each episode's twists and turns, ups and downs, sorrows and triumphs.