Opening Pandora's Box

One of my biggest anti-anxiety techniques is to live in the present, because the past makes me guilty and the future makes me worried.  Living in the here and now helps me enjoy life and be happy.  However, I was raised with the belief that I can always improve myself, and I should look for opportunities to do so.  I still believe in this philosophy, but sometimes it butts head with my anxiety.  For example, I struggle with daily scripture study because of the guilt I often feel when I'm reminded of just how imperfect I am.  I try to counter this guilt with some of my anti-anxiety techniques, such as achieving a healthy balance verses "all-or-nothing" thinking.  Still, it's never fun to open the Pandora Box in my life.  In fact, a few days ago, I went through the all-too-unpleasant experience once again.  It went something like this:

"Herp, derp.  I've been feeling so good these days, I think it's time to set a new self-improvement goal for myself."

As I seek self-improvement, I'm forced to face all of the anxieties that I had been so careful to avoid during my day-to-day life (a.k.a. open the Pandora Box)

My blissful 'live in the present' philosophy crumbles under the scrutiny of my weaknesses.  At first, I'm like this ("I haven't changed at all!"), and then I'm like...

"Don't talk to me.  I hate everyone and everything right now."

With time, the irritability and anxiety of opening my Pandora Box fades away, allowing me to pursue my self-improvement goal after all.  It's an unfortunate occurrence that is both maddening and hilarious at the same time.  However, improvement is important to me, so I've learned to accept the temporary discouragement of my Pandora's Box in order to stretch and grow.  It's just another way I have to live with my anxiety.  I suppose it's not ideal, but it's reality, and I'm okay with that.  In the end, I get past my hateful mode (haha) and get back to being happy again.  It's an ongoing process that I hope will get better with time.

The Death and Rebirth of Journaling

One of my senior pictures starring a stack of my journals, taken in 2009

From 1999 to 2010, I kept journals the traditional way: with pen and paper.  I have several dozen journals that range in many sizes and shapes and colors.  They are filled with memories, dreams, stories, and even drawings.  Whenever I experienced something amazing, I journaled.  Whenever I felt frustrated, I journaled.  Writing my thoughts and feelings down was a form of therapy for me, which is why I journaled nearly every day.  My journals are priceless treasures that I will always cherish and protect.  However, my anxiety disorder led to the death of journaling for me.

It sounds awfully sad, and it kind of is, but I promise that there is a happy ending to this post.  My anxiety disorder is centered around unhealthy thoughts, and journaling is all about writing thoughts down.  Therein lied the problem.  When I tried to journal out my feelings like I always had in the past, only the twisted, anxious thoughts came out.  As these twisted thoughts were translated into physical form, they gained more strength and greater validity.  They became more real than they were supposed to be.  Journaling was actually making my anxiety worse.  In order to break the choking grasp anxiety had on my mind, I had to stop journaling.  I had to stop soul searching and close my mind for a season.  I had to learn to live in the moment, recognize and appreciate the beauty in the world all around me that was real and tangible.  This helped lessen the power of my anxiety, and eventually I learned enough skills to keep it out of my mind for good.  The question then became: do I begin journaling again?

While I was still learning to deal with my anxiety, I started this little blog called "Anxiously Engaged."  I had tried and failed to keep a blog in the past, but for some reason, I stuck with this one.  I found it was easy to post something every week, and I had a ton of fun putting together my resource pages.  Today, I have developed a  love of blogging and plan to keep at it until who-knows-when.  Turns out, blogging has become my new form of journaling.  I can still write out my thoughts and feelings about all sorts of things, but because it's public, I'm refrained from delving too deep into anxious thoughts.  Maybe I will journal with paper and pen again one day, but until then, blogging is just as good.  Sometime soon, I want to print out all of my blog posts and put them in a binder.  In that way, it will be like my old journals after all.  

Image by st3to

"The nicest part is being able to write down all my thoughts and feelings; otherwise, I might suffocate."   
      --Anne Frank, from The Diary of a Young Girl

A Happy Fool

There is a lot of danger out there, and don't get me wrong, bad things happen to people everyday.  Severe illness, rape, house fire, and unexpected death are just a few.  Bad things could happen to you, and they could happen to me.  As a person with anxiety, you would think I would be tormented by the countless "what-ifs" that could happen to me at anytime.  I do worry about losing my husband, or getting attacked, but surprisingly, I don't worry about stuff like that too often.  I do some things to prevent and prepare for the "what ifs," but in the end, I don't really think about them.  Maybe I'm a fool for it.  On the one hand, I live without fear, so life could blindside me at any moment.  On the other hand, I live without fear, and that is a blessing in itself.

My husband is very interested in self-defense techniques such as reading body language, and he's always practicing drills with his gun.  He'll probably be a lot more prepared than I am to handle an emergency.  I want to learn how to use a kubotan (future post, maybe?) and take karate lessons one day, but I do these things because they're interesting to me, not because I am driven by fear.  There was a time when anxious thoughts clouded my mind.  I was afraid of the smallest things, and worried about the future constantly.  I was miserable all day, every day.  I just could not live like that.  One of the practices of unconditional living is to let go of the past and don't worry about the future.  This doesn't mean that I don't plan for things, especially emergencies.  It means that if I focus on the 5% of life that is bad, or could be bad, I miss out on the 95% of life that is happy and beautiful.  A boiling tragedy may be waiting around the corner for me sometime in the future, but as long as I live in the present, I am happy today.  I may be a fool for being like this, but at least I'm a happy fool.

This concept also applies to my religion.  Even the most stalwart saint has doubts sometimes about their religion.  Is there really a God?  What if I'm wrong and there's nothing waiting for me on the "other side?"  What if this life is all I got?  These fears might drive someone to live on the wild side of life and do what they want (like that silly phrase "YOLO").  But honestly, when did riotous living ever make someone happy?  No amount of money, partying, or sex can bring the kind of joy that unconditional living brings.  YOLO is all about seeking more; unconditional living is all about appreciating what you already have.  I might be a fool for believing in God, but since my religion makes me happy, then I will be a happy fool.  I'll worry about what will really happen on the other side when the time actually comes to go to the other side.  Until then, I will live the way that makes me happy, and unconditional living is that way.

I know what it is like to live in constant fear because anxiety made me that way for a long time.  Even if it's "realistic," I just won't live that way.  It's too dark and miserable.  I choose to embrace unconditional living because it combats my anxiety and brings happiness to my life.  No matter what life throws at me, good or bad, I want to be a happy fool.    
 

Image from Live Life Bigger

Meltdown! Part 2

Lately these days, I feel like my anxiety has been pretty stable.  I'm happy, work everyday, and have goals for a better future.  Last night, however, I was reminded how quickly I can go from...

 

To...

Let me tell you what happened.  I received a JCPenney gift card as one of my Christmas gifts, so Ben and I went to the mall with the hopes of buying me some new shoes.  I needed a middle-ranged shoe; not as casual as flip flops, but not as fancy as heels.  I quickly found the most adorable, comfortable black flats ever!  It was love at first sight.  I was ready to buy them and move onto the next thing on my list, but Ben said they were too dressy for what I was wearing, which was a button-down shirt and jeans.  I waved my hand at him and said, "Like you know anything about fashion!"  He challenged me to ask the cashier her opinion, so I marched right up to her with confidence and asked, "Are these shoes too dressy for my outfit?"  The cashier considered me a moment before saying, "Yes."  I was not expecting that, so this was my reaction:

"Oh...thanks."

Walk back to my seat.

Sit down and...

...and...

"WHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

I just started crying!  I don't know why, but I was an emotional wreck.  I felt very silly, crying in the middle of JCPenney.  I'm sure people were wondering what was wrong.  I'm glad no one said anything, because even though I was crying, my main emotion was anger.  Who did that cashier think she was, telling me those shoes were too good for me?!  Why did I live in a world where society dictated that I couldn't wear a pair of shoes?!  Darn it!

My wonderful husband didn't laugh at me, or judge me, or anything like that.  He just let me be emotional.  We found another pair of shoes that matched my casual outfit more, but I just couldn't get over those cute black flats.  Ben promised me that the next time we got paid, he would buy the flats for me.  I have the best husband in the world!

So this has been yet another anxiety-induced meltdown with comical flair.  The moral of the story is: even if I look composed on the outside, a meltdown can happen anywhere at anytime!  Nevertheless, I usually have anxiety-free days and lots of happy moments.  So the next time you break down and cry for whatever reason, don''t feel bad.  It just happens sometimes.  :)

Shakiest Gun In the West

Ruger P90 (so scary!)

My husband loves guns, and today, we did some shooting with his Ruger P95.  It wasn't the first time I have shot his pistol (it was my third time, to be exact), so I wasn't as anxious as I was the first time.  I was terrified of shooting guns in the beginning.  The idea of holding a device that could kill someone with the slightest pull of the trigger...it scared me.  My greatest anxiety scenarios usually involve bad guys with guns, so I got anxious just at the mention of guns.  In fact, gun ownership was a great cause of contention during our engagement.  :)  But my husband, being the stalwart man he is, wanted to make sure I knew how to use his Ruger in case I ever needed to defend myself at home while he was gone.

Marlin model 60 (so fun!)

I started out by shooting Ben's Marlin model 60, a varmint rife, which was less powerful.  It almost felt like using a toy, so I did not feel anxious using it.  It's just that doggone pistol that scares the poo out of me!  I'm not as anxious as I was in the beginning, but I still get anxious, trust me.  My hands shake when I hold it, my shoulders get tense, and I always close my eye when I pull the trigger (not on purpose, mind you.  It makes for bad marksmanship, but I can't help it!)  The recoil feels like the pistol is going to either buck out of my hands or knock me off of my feet.  And once I pinched my hand really hard when I cocked it.  That gun is scary!

Despite my anxiety, however, I continue to practice shooting with my husband.  I can usually only last a few rounds, but today, I shot three rounds.  Thirty bullets; that's a record for me!  I'm proud to say that I know how to shoot, and I'm pretty good at it, too.  I'll still always be anxious when I shoot, but it's important for me to face my fears and push my limits.  My husband is proud of my progress, although he still wants me to keep working towards proficiency (Ben = "honey, let's have you practice cocking the pistol a few times, alright?"  Me = "I don't wanna!")  I'll continue learning how to shoot, because I refuse to let anxiety dictate what I can and can't do, and that's a habit I want to uphold throughout my life.  Below are some pictures of me shooting like a boss.  ;)

I got my eyes on the enemy...

 

Stop closing your eyes, girl!  You're freaking me out!

The purple marker highlights the bullet holes.  Yay, I killed the creeper!  :D

Check It Out! - Zen Habits

When I first developed my full-blown anxiety disorder, I was in a lot of turmoil.  Things that had once seemed simple were suddenly complicated.  The life I knew was turned upside down, and I was lost in my own despair.  Many things helped me through the Dark Ages (i.e. my religion, my husband, my mom, etc.), but today, I want to focus on a blog that really taught me the minimalist philosophy that helps me combat my anxiety everyday.

Zen Habits is a blog that introduced me to the idea that the best way to overcome my anxiety was to...breathe, be still, and let go.  I was a dire hard perfectionist until anxiety burst my bubble and left me feeling like a total loser.  I thought that the way to overcome my anxiety was to get my act back together and go back to accomplishing things like a champ.  But the reality was this: even when I thought I was accomplishing things, I was really accomplishing nothing.  One of the greatest things that my anxiety disorder has taught me is that my previous life was filled with pride that had no substance.  Losing my perfectionism was insanely painful, but today, I can say that I am grateful for the things I've learned through my anxiety.

Oh dear, where was I?  That's right.  Zen Habits introduced me to some minimalist philosophies that, at first, drove me crazy.  For example, when I was a perfectionist, I always created goals for myself, and felt like a failure when I did not meet them.  One of Zen Habit's philosophies is to live without goals.  What?!  How was I supposed to be worthwhile if I didn't set and accomplish goals?  That was the thing: I was already worthwhile.  Anxiety made me believe that I had to do all of these things to be worth anything, but as a Child of God, I was already worth everything.  It took time, but Zen Habits helped me realize this.

See my blog post "What Makes Me Significant?"

Another philosophy that Zen Habits taught me was to stop putting expectations on everything.  When Ben and I were engaged, I expected him to do and think and act in all the ways I wanted him to.  In my anxious state, I put a lot of pressure on him, and it almost tore us apart.  Zen Habits taught me that instead of expecting things from people and getting disappointed when things don't go my way, I can be grateful for the wonderful relationship I have with that person, whatever it may be.  This was an eye-opened experience for me, because I thought I could shape and mold my future husband like wet clay into the vessel I wanted.  Little did I know that my husband was already perfect the way he was; all I had to do was realize it.  It's kind of like when a kid realizes that Christmas isn't about getting presents, but giving them.  I remember the night that this concept really sunk into my soul.  I wrote a little poem that summed up my feelings pretty well:

I thought marriage was about spoiling me,

But marriage is about changing me.

I thought marriage was about serving me,

But marriage is about purifying me.

I thought marriage was about kissing me,

But marriage is about teaching me.

I thought marriage was about being the perfect wife,

But marriage is about preparing for Celestial Life.

And I learned to do the same for me.  I stopped pressuring myself and just appreciated myself for who I was.  I was perfect the way I was; I just had to realize it. 

Zen Habits has plenty of posts on how to set goals and change yourself into a better person, but what really touched my heart was the lessons of simplicity that helped me let go of the last traces of my perfectionism.  It's only when I was able to do this that I truly began to get better.  Please check out the Zen Habits blog.  It's a wonderful and uplifting place, and most of the blogs reflect the new and simple way I live my life (and trust me, I don't miss my old life one bit!)  Below are some direct links to some of my favorite posts, or just click here to go right to the website.  Thanks for reading, and remember...breathe.

How to Be Happy Anytime
Toss Your Expectations Into the Ocean
The Illusion of Control
Be Still

Don't Fear the Putt-Putt

Image from Speedcathollydale's blog

I love going to the beach!  It's a wonderful way to get away from the normal hustle and bustle of life and get caught up in the relaxing rhythm of the ocean waves.  It has become sort of a tradition to go putt-putt while at the beach, and there are no shortages of interesting locations to go to.  I'm not great at putt-putt, so it's really just a way to get outside and have fun with my family without pressure.  However, since I'm kind of an anxious person, I end up feeling pressure anyway.  Not from my family, though.  In the end, the pressure I experience is from myself, and after some contemplation, I came up with an interesting analogy.

So there I am, preparing to do a three-foot putt into the hole.  I might look cool and calm to everyone else, but inside, I am thinking:

"Oh no, what if I can't make this shot?  I can never do anything right.  There's no way I can make this shot!  I shouldn't even try."

Thankfully, my sane Unconditional Self steps in and says:

"Yes, you can do this.  If you believe you can do it, you will.  Don't listen to your anxieties.  Just concentrate and sink that ball into the hole." 

So I focus, and lo and behold, the ball rolls right into the hole.  I celebrate with a whoop, and then the anxieties begin again:

 "Oh no, now I've done it!  Everyone will expect me to be able to play putt-putt really well, and if I don't, then I'll be a complete and utter failure!  I have to stop being good at putt-putt to protect myself!"

Of course, this is complete baloney, so my Unconditional Self steps in:

 "What is wrong with you?!  Didn't you listen to a word I've been saying?  If you believe you can do it, you will!  You will make mistakes, 'cause that's part of life, but that doesn't mean you're a failure.  You have a talent, so don't be afraid to pursue it!  Show the world what you can do!"

This is a very dramatic example of what I struggle with every day of my life.  Anxiety makes me afraid to do things, especially the things I do well, in fear of failing.  This is why I haven't been working on my novel, or pursuing my love of art.  It's silly, but it's real.  What I work on everyday is helping my Unconditional Self rise above the fog of my anxious self (see my anxiety page to learn more about the Unconditional Self).  It's like having an evil twin that's always anxious and always trying to keep me stuck in my fear.  Kevin Bolk, creator of "I'm My Own Mascot" comics, understands this very well (click to read):

My husband once told me that having these anxious and fearful thoughts is completely normal.  It's when these thoughts keep me too fearful from pursuing my dreams that it becomes a problem.  Having anxiety isn't easy, but I'm learning to ignore the evil twin in my head and follow my passions.  I'm happy to say that I've been working on my novel again after months of inactivity.  Hooray!  :D  Every little victory helps.  So whenever I feel trapped in my own fear, I think of my experience with putt-putt and I rise above my anxieties.  Most of the time, anyway.  ;)

The Forest In My Heart

 

Image by lucias-tears

I've been struggling with some anxious thought patterns these days and thought I'd share an interesting analogy that has emerged from it.  Every person has a forest in their heart.  I have one, too.  This forest is teeming with life, each creature and plant representing a part of myself.  Each tree is a skill that I'm developing.  Some are tall and sure, while others are still growing.  The birds are my dreams, the stream is my desire to explore the world, etc.  And flowers!  Flowers are everywhere.  My forest is a beautiful and personal place.  Or, at least it was.

When I developed an anxiety disorder, it felt like I was losing myself to its dark, twisted depths.  My passion and talents diminished, my confidence shattered, and my dreams were lost.  It felt like the forest in my heart was burning to the ground.

Image from www.erh.noaa.gov

Everything I had worked towards in the past twenty-two years of my life was gone.  There was nothing in my heart but smoldering pain and choking ashes.  I didn't know who I was anymore.  I was almost destroyed by it.

Maybe you have gone through a similar experience as this.  It's frightening to lose everything.  But the thing is, you haven't lost everything.  I thought I had, but in time, I caught little glimpses of myself shining through the anxiety.  It was like little sprouts pushing their way through the dirt and ash.  I was still in a lot of pain, and I had to redefine everything again, but I was willing to try.  I was willing to regrow the forest in my heart.  It wasn't easy.  It took a lot of work, a lot of pain, and a lot of time.  Today, my forest does not have the same majesty of my first forest.  But after everything I've learned about myself and anxiety, my forest fire was not a tragedy.  Just like in real life, a forest fire plays an important role.  The fire clears out dead brush and noxious weeds, giving new plants a chance to take their place.  The forest fire in my heart was purged of pride and false perceptions, allowing new and life-changing virtues to grow and flourish.  I can now say that I am a better woman because of anxiety.

The forest in my heart still has a long way to go.  The fire was necessary, but it certainly didn't feel good in the moment, and neither does the feeling of inadequacy that follows.  But despite the anxiety that plagues me day to day, I am still me, and I always will be.  My forest may still be lacking in many ways, but in time, flowers will grow again in the forest of my heart.

Check It Out! - The Spoon Theory

My mom shared an awesome analogy she found on a website called "But You Don't Look Sick."  It's a website intended to support Lupus, and the Spoon Theory is an analogy for Lupus, but I could immediately apply it to my anxiety disorder.  Please visit www.butyoudon'tlooksick.com to read the full article and check out the rest of the website!

 

It can be difficult for "normal" people to understand the daily struggles a person with a mental disability faces everyday.  Even I, back in my self-righteous and pre-anxious days, couldn't understand why people would let their mental disabilities get them down.  Eventually, I developed an anxiety disorder as well (wow, talk about karma).  NOW I understood what it was like.  All of my self-righteous judgments melted away.  But it pained me to know that there were still people out there who, like my old self, judged those with mental disabilities.  There are some people who even have the nerve to think that mental disabilities aren't real.  How can I explain what it's like to truly live with anxiety?  The answer came with the Spoon Theory!  Please, I earnestly invite you to read the full article here, but I'd also like to give the short version of the Spoon Theory with you.

Image from www.butyoudontlooksick.com 

Christine (the woman who came up with the theory) was at a restaurant with her friend.  Even though they had been friends for a long time, her friend asked what it was like to live with Lupus.  Christine grabbed all of the available spoons from their table and other nearby tables, put them in her friends hands, and said, “Here you go, you have Lupus."  The spoons represented the energy and effort one could expend in a day.  Most people have infinite amount of spoons, but her friend only had twelve.  Christine then instructed her friend to go through a typical workday.  As her friend said, "Get out of bed," Christine took one of the spoons.  Her friend said, "Take a shower," and Christine took away a spoon.  Before she had even gotten to work, half of her spoons were gone.  How was she going to make it through the work day?  And once she was back home, how could she then have the energy to do chores, laundry, and cook dinner?  Through this analogy, Christine really demonstrated how carefully one must use their energy accordingly when they suffer from Lupus.

Now, I will apply my anxiety disorder to the Spoon Theory.  When I wake up, I know I have to spend a certain amount of my limited spoons on my job.  When I come home, I might be able to do some chores, but if I had an especially hard time at work, I just don't have the "spoons" to do so.  If I have an anxiety attack during the day, I may no longer have enough "spoons" to work on my book or go out with friends, because dealing with anxiety attacks requires a lot of "spoons."  I must try my best to plan ahead of time how I will use my spoons so I can get the most out of my day.  Therefore, if someone asks me to do a big, unexpected favor for them, I might have a mental breakdown because I don't have enough "spoons" to handle the extra work.  The Spoon Theory is a great way for people to understand what living with a mental disability is like.  Even now, my mom and I talk about how many "spoons" we have or need or used up, and smile knowingly at each other.

Once again, I urge you to read the original Spoon Theory, because I just don't do it justice.  You will be glad you did.  :)  Do you or someone you know suffer from Lupus, a mental disability, or something else that makes their life difficult?  Share this with them!  It will make them smile and nod in total understanding.  

Image from The "But You Don't Look Sick" Gift Shop

 

Meltdown!

About a month ago, I went off of my medicine in anticipation of getting pregnant.  I had learned enough anxiety-coping techniques to get by, right?  How wrong I was!  I could feel anxiety creeping back into my mind, and even with my coping techniques, it wasn't backing down.  The straw that broke the camel's back was when I went to take care of my tadpoles and saw two of them were dead!  Something had killed them!  I don't know exactly what happened, but I...SNAPPED!  I scooped the remaining tadpoles out of the tank and dumped out the water (I still don't know how that was supposed to help.)  I realized after the fact that I had no spring water to replace it with, so I rushed off to Walmart to buy some more, my mind abuzz with anxiety and irritability.  Walking through the store, I probably looked like this:

What people didn't see (and I'm sure glad they couldn't) was the internal conflict between my True Self and my Anxiety-Ridden Self:

"Get out of my way, dumb people!  My tadpoles - a summer's worth of sweat and tears - are dying as we speak!  Grrrrrr!  Get out of my way!"
 "Please, calm down!  You can't treat people like that.  Everything is going to be all right."
"Shut up, you!"

 
I was so angry about my tadpoles dying ("They can't die after all the hard work I put into them!") and distraught that they would all die ("See? I'm worthless at everything I do!") I proceeded to fill my cart with over $100 worth of fish supplies to start from scratch.  The internal conflict continued:

"What are you thinking?  Don't buy all that stuff!  You don't need it!  You are just being anxious."
"No, I have to buy this stuff NOW!  It's the only way to save my tadpoles!  Grrrrrrr!"

I then proceed to the checkout, like this:

The moment of truth had come.  I was just about to checkout and buy all this fish stuff that I didn't really need, fueled by anxiety and rage.  Finally, one thought rose above the others: "What will Ben (my husband) think when he sees all this stuff, and finds out how much money I spent?"  It was in that moment that I came to my senses.  I slowly looked down at all of the stuff in my cart, and said:

 "What am I doing?"

I slowly, and calmly, returned all of the fish supplies, bought the spring water I originally went for, and left Walmart.  I went home and refilled the tank and replaced the tadpoles.  The anxiety madness had passed, and left me feeling stupid and ashamed.  I shared the story with Ben and my mom, and they both thought it was pretty funny.  I realized that, really, it was.  Anxiety made it feel like such a big deal in the moment, but it was all very comical.  The next day, I could smile and laugh at my meltdown, and blog about it, too.  :)    Why am I sharing this?  Because maybe there's someone out there who has gone through a similar experience.  In my case, my meltdown was centered on my tadpoles, but it could have been anything.  Cleaning the house, exercising, remodeling, anything that could cause someone to rush off and spend lots of money to start over again.  If you have gone through something like this, please know that you are not alone.  Meltdowns are a part of life, and once survived, can give us a good laugh afterwards.

An Anxiety Philosophy Is Born

I had an amazing surge of inspiration today while driving to work!  I have been dealing with anxiety for one and a half years now, and almost since day one, I wanted to create my own philosophy about it.  I wanted to create a structured way of explaining how anxiety works, how to combat it, and then share it with others.  Anxiety, however, is never straight forward, so working out a philosophy for it was always intimidating.  But that's what I had a power surge about today!  It's still just the "first draft," but here's an introduction to my anxiety philosophy...

Most likely, if you have anxiety or another mental disorder, you are right-brained or otherwise very creative.  These people have very strong emotions, but anxiety heightens their negative emotions to the point where they overshadow their positive emotions.  I believe these negative emotions can be organized into four different categories:

Fear 

 Image by Akirakirai

 

Other forms of fear: cynicism, distrust.

Sorrow

  Image by Caperuccita

Other forms of sorrow: depression, hopelessness.

Guilt

 

Other forms of guilt: shame, feeling undeserving.

Anger

Image by Tyshea 

 

Other forms of anger: frustration, irritability, bitterness.

To counter these four negative emotions that are heightened by anxiety, there are four positive emotions.  These emotions are a part of every human being, even ones suffering from anxiety or other mental disabilities, but they are often overshadowed by the out-of-control negative emotions.  There is a way to combat and control the negative emotions with these positive ones, but I'm still working out the details.  For now, here are the four positive emotions:

Trust

 Image by Ahmetorhan

 Other forms of trust: love, confidence, optimism, faith.

Counters fear.

Happiness

  Other forms of happiness: joy, fulfillment, contentment.

Counters sorrow.

Acceptance

 Image by Yumenonikki

Other forms of acceptance: forgiveness, self-love, peace.

Counters guilt.

Laughter

 Other forms of laughter: pleasure, loving life, excitement, passion.

Counter anger.

This is only the very beginning of my anxiety philosophy, but I'm excited to develop it further.  If you have any thoughts of additional emotion topics, please let me know! Thanks for reading!